Dyla's District

19 + Moving of Blog

2009-07-31T23:15:00.000+08:00

Today is the day I turn 19. It feels the same, just a new number. Actually, I kinda like the number 19. It sounds and looks nice to me. And oh ya, I will no longer be blogging here. I'm changing to wordpress. Even though how much I like this URL (u-wantmyhistory.blogspot), I find it a bit too long and troublesome.

I intend to use the new blog for a long time, maybe for the next 5 years or so? Then you can watch me, more like to read about my life actually, as I grow, graduate, join the industry, etc.

Visit Dyla's New Blog

Party + Meeting @ Hotels

2009-07-12T22:36:00.002+08:00

I visited 2 hotels yesterday! It was my first time, going to 2 hotels in a day. First, was a friend's mum's birthday party. It was at Swiss Hotel(on top of City Hall Mrt) then I also had to go to a meeting in another hotel.

What was amazing was that from the hotel that was having the party, I could already see the hotel that I was heading to next, which was Pan Pacific Hotel. It was right across, near Suntec. And I was on the 52nd floor that time. Reaallllly high..

My sister came along, so when I went for the meeting I left my sister behind at the party to accompany a new friend we made there. Meeting was about the camp, which was postponed. I didn't take much pictures coz I wasnt in the mood to do so.

But I can tell you, I love the toilet at Pan Pacific, when I went in I immediately said: Fuiyooo.... But the funny thing was that I had to take my wudhu in the bathtub! ahahahha.

The part of the party that I like the most was when my friend and his other guy friends made a surprise performance. They sang two songs. One was in Malay and the other was half Malay, half English.

I don't remember the title of the second song but I know the first one, which was: Ibu Mithali (I think it means Pious Mum? A very good mum la basically.)

So yeah, there were the other adults who were his mother's friends and us, the younger generation. I came without knowing anyone except for my friend who was organising that party, so that took me a LOT of courage. (Coz I'm kinda shy if I have to approach an unknown crowd) And also I'm not the kind of person whose able to just be sociable and start talking and all that, especially to guys. If girls I'm okay.

I can talk, but I choose to be quiet and speak only when I need to. But sometimes I am quiet, either because I'm thinking abt what to eat later or I'm just spacing out. AHAHAHAHAHAHHA..Kathy knows this very well, we go home together everyday and during the train rides I often say I'm hungry, then I'll keep quiet and think what should I get later.

So.. back to the story. So after they sang the songs. Most of the female adults were very touched and some started tearing. Awww... I personally felt it was touching also. But no, I didnt tear. I know how to control. Teeheehee.

So overall,
went to party @ Swiss Hotel -> left early to rush to meeting -> waited for friends for almost an hour -> accompanied a friend to ger her shoes -> meeting @ Pan Pacific Hotel-> rushed back to party through a heavy rain -> watched surprise performance -> went home at 10pm = Exhausted + Fun Experience + :)

I wish I can show the video I recorded, but the quality isn't that good. So lets just forget it. Haha. I'll post up the pictures next.

That's all. Feeling happy now, played Sims 3 almost the whole day today. Coz I've not been playing for almost a week. Haha.

Have u had a dream that you want it to happen for real.

2009-07-01T00:01:00.005+08:00

Have u had a dream that you want it to happen for real?

Dreams like this don't happen always to me. So when it does, I''ll be smiling while thinking about it when i wake up.

Last night I had a very pleasant dream.
If only it would come true. But I know it never will.

Oh yeah, btw, the camp was postponed. And I was supposed to attend this bowling competiton for MySpex but they canceled my team due to insufficient lanes, and we were told about it just one night before the day itself.
Oh well...

My Current Addiction & New Boyfriend

2009-06-12T17:01:00.006+08:00

Other than occupying myself with the publicity stuff I need to do for Girls Go Camping and several school stuff, I have a new addiction.

I'm addicted to Sims 3. That's all I wanna do lately. Sims, sims, sims. It makes it worse especially when wherever I go I see adverts of Sims 3. At the MRT station, on the net, even on a whole bus!

Also, I have a new boyfriend, I wake up and I see him. I talk to him everyday. I need to study I go to him. I need to watch something he provides it. I need to play games he lets me do it. He makes me happy just by being there. So far he has not been giving me any problems.

Ahahahha. He has no name for now. I just call him HP all the time. Full name: HP Pavilion.

Don't mind the boring background. That was an illustration I did for a part of our Project Management Presentation.

Oh yeah, if you guys have any malay muslim girl friends within the age of 17-25 or you are within that age range. Please join or invite them to join this camp that Saff is organising. I'm in the publicity department, so its my duty to u know, publicise..

Poster was done by me. Teeheehee.
For more info, please visit the: Girls Go Series Blog
Registration closes on the 23rd June 09.

Please help to spread the word. Thank you!

Design Polluted

2009-06-02T07:43:00.003+08:00

Sims 3 is coming out today. But due to school I can't go to the launch party. But then that's alright, I guess. Coz I can collect the game tomorrow instead.

I've not been updating regularly due to the amount of stuff I have to do lately. Lets see, there was the wedding cards I had to design and print. Then the Girls Go Camping (GGC) publicity stuff. Then still there was the video assignment essay I had to write on.

The Project Management group presentation was done yesterday. And my lecturer was very impressed. Hehe. So today I have to present some music i did and there's another essay I need to write. Culture Media assignment - select 3 movies that we've watched during class and write about them.

I just finished making some changes for a school banner. I'm helping Kathy to create some posters/banners that a lecturer asked her to do.

Mek. I feel so polluted with all this design stuff I'm doing lately. ahaha.
I want to play Sims.

try to love the questions

2009-05-27T07:47:00.001+08:00

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer.
~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

sleepy

2009-05-12T23:05:00.006+08:00

I am exhausted...That's all I wanna say...

I wish I can talk more about what happened last weekend. About the mother's day celebration I had for 2 days in a row! (Sat & Sun).

I wanted to talk about the new desktop I've orderd on Sunday night . HP Pavilion. Its gonna be delivered soon.

I wanted to talk about how thrilled and excited I was when I pre-ordered Sims 3 yesterday, with Kathy & Dennis.

But I'm sleepy and tired now. Still, I have to do some design stuff.
I've not even started on my essay assignment due next week, mek.

*I miss jogging.. I've not been able to lately. :(

Commitments

2009-05-05T23:39:00.005+08:00

School started 3 weeks ago. I'm pleased with the timetable, cause there are days I don't have to stay until so late. Just that, some of the module assignments are really kinda energy and time-consuming. Oh well, I'll just have to deal with it sooner or later.

My current commitments:
1. Go to school everyday (obviously)
2. Ngaji on Tuesdays & Thursday nights (Read the Quran classes)
3. Jog with my Sis almost everyday in the evening (She is like my personal coach now)
4. Design a wedding invitation card
5. Part of the Publicity Team for Girl Go Camping, in charge of the designs & stuff (SAFF-Perdaus)
6. Help Kathy to design rolled up banners for some of the courses in school
7. Hang out with my family on weekends
8. Stay at home (I'll only go out if I really need to)

Oh ya, by the way I discovered that I have a pimple on my left elbow.
Such a weird place to have a pimple...

that I have scorned

2009-04-26T22:55:00.001+08:00

I could tell you what I've done
Or should I tell you where I went wrong?

In my weakness, I've lost faith
I've been careless and I have been warned
God, bless the guys that I have scorned.

I'm so lost and I need you to help me repent

So I'm gonna get down on my knees
Beg forgiveness to help set me free
God, have mercy on me, please.

Mercy On Me,
Christina Aguilera

I was listening to some music from Christina Aguilera. The song 'Walk Away' reminded me so much of my past. But then when I listened to this song, it related to me so much, at how my life was back then and how it is now.

feelings that make me daydream.

2009-04-20T23:05:00.007+08:00

A new start, that's what I told a friend.

This day today I made a deal with myself that I'll forget.
Forget about the feelings that will only distract me from my aims, my goals, my purpose in life.
Be it for my studies, my future, my life.

The feelings that make me daydream.
The feelings of bliss every girl/guy wants to experience.
Love.

So I've decided to play it safe and erase the feelings.
On and off, it kept coming and going.

I'll remember the person, but I'll forget those feelings.
I won't have to see him again.
For now.

Maybe I will, someday.

Today I leave behind something special in search of God's mercy.
I hope one day He will bless me with something better.
Insyallah...

Allah knows best.

Strong women are those
who make mistakes, who
admit to them, learn from
those failures, and use that
knowledge.

They fail time and again,
but they still keep trying
until they succeed.

Strong women face the
daily trails of life,
sometimes with a tear,
but always with their
heads held high as the
new day dawns.

- Brenda Hager

Finding that self - motivation

2009-04-16T08:49:00.003+08:00

I used to read storybooks, stories about teenage love, angst, teen pregnancy, teen rebels. All that is related to teen. But eventually I gave up reading on them, because I got bored of the similar plot over and over again. Or maybe it was because I'm growing out of that teen stage?

That was when I started borrowing guide books and self-motivational ones, about health, makeup, how to build your confidence. That kind of thing. I realize reading self-motivational books really really helps. But some people don't see the benefit. I think I can understand why.

Its more of, if you want a change in your life, you want to set it at a proper pace then reading this kind of book helps. But if you have no interest about this things, you'll get bored easily. For me, I need this books because they have true short stories, phrases or poems that makes me reflect and helps to sustain that self-motivated phase I'm in.

So if you catch me reading such self-motivational, informative books (e.g. The 7 habits of highly effective people, managing time, remember God till death, etc.) please understand that I'm in that phase where I'm finding my self-motivation to improve and work harder.

Sometimes there's no one to cheer for me and give me that encouragement all the time, so picking up such a book and reading it feels like its speaking and guiding me day by day through its messages.

The book that I'm reading now is called:

Success, One Day At A Time by John C. Maxwell

The first few pages had a message that caught my attention, almost immediately I knew I found a new friend. The message was:

You will never change your life
until you change something you do daily.
The secret of your success is found
in your daily routine.
- John C. Maxwell

"You can't get much done in life
if you only work on the days you feel good."
- Basketball player Jerry West

Kisah Saya Dan Awak

2009-04-12T19:18:00.007+08:00

Sedar tidak sedar, sudah 3 tahun saya mengenali awak. Tak pernah saya terfikir peristiwa memalukan saya terjatuh ke dalam longkang membuat hati kita bertaut. Terima kasih kepada Allah kerana mentakdirkan saya terjatuh dan terima kasih juga kerana Allah menggerakkan awak untuk mentertawakan saya. Jika tidak, hubungan kita tidak mungkin sampai sejauh ini. Siapa pernah menyangka peristiwa sekecil itu mampu mengikat hati dua insan. Walaupun saya dan awak masing-masing berjauhan, teknologi benar-benar mengikat kita.

Saya sedar, hari demi hari saya semakin menyenangi kehadiran awak dalam hidup saya. Saya bersyukur atas hubungan ini. Bersyukur kerana kita bukanlah seperti pasangan kekasih lain. Awak tidak pernah mengucap kata rindu, apatah lagi kata sayang. Seingat saya sepanjang 3 tahun ini, tidak sampai 5 kali kita bersua muka. Itupun tatkala awak dan keluarga datang beraya ke rumah saya. Saya juga bersyukur ibu bapa kita saling meredhai persahabatan kita. Hari demi hari, kita semakin matang. Saya semakin mengenali dunia, semakin mendalami ajaran Islam sebenar. Dulu, saya fikir hubungan kita tidak salah. Ya, memang tidak salah dari pandangan mata luar. Namun jujur jauh di sudut hati saya, saya sering merindui awak biarpun tiada siapa antara kita yang pernah melafazkannya. Pernah saya angankan awak menjadi pembimbing keluarga saya kelak. MasyaAllah, begitu jauh saya lalai. Kata-kata seorang teman suatu waktu dulu benar-benar mendorong saya berfikir panjang. “Zina hati sememangnya kelihatan kecil, namun dosanya tetap sama”.

Astaghfirullah…saya beristighfar panjang. Dengan segala kekuatan yang ada, saya katakan kepada awak. “Jangan hubungi saya lagi melainkan awak bersedia mengahwini saya”. Saya sendiri tidak pasti dengan apa yang saya lakukan. Saya sedar awak pasti kebingungan dengan kata-kata saya kerana antara kita sememangnya tiada yang istimewa. Saya juga sedar hakikatnya, awak juga punya perasaan terhadap saya biarpun awak mebisu seribu bahasa. Hubungan kita terputus begitu sahaja. Enam bulan berlalu dengan amat sukar bagi saya. Setiap hari saya berdoa semoga Allah permudahkan segala yang terbaik untuk saya, semoga Allah permudahkan jika apa yang saya lakukan benar-benar keranaNya. Ingin saya katakan, betapa sukar melupakan awak. Dalam kesibukan saya melupakan awak, tiba-tiba saya dikejutkan dengan rombongan peminangan. Andai awak dapat melihat hati saya, pastinya awak tahu betapa terkejutnya saya. Ya, awak tunaikan permintaan saya. Awak datang lagi ke rumah saya, tapi kali ini dengan sebentuk cincin. Sekarang saya sudah sah menjadi permaisuri hidup awak. Sekarang saya bebas merindui awak tanpa rasa berdosa, saya bebas berbicara dengan awak tanpa rasa bersalah dan saya bebas menyayangi awak kerana awaklah pembimbing hidup saya. Terima kasih Allah ikatkan kita dengan tali perkahwinan biarpun pada usia muda remaja.

Terima kasih Allah menghadirkan awak sekali lagi dalam hidup saya.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry its not in English. But, I'll summarize the main points about the story.

Its a beautiful story about how a girl and a guy liking each other but they never admit it to each other. She left him for the sake of God but fate brought them back together 6 months later and they got married. Oh ya, and they're still teenagers. More like young adults I guess, late teens.

Why do i find this story meaningful?
Because it has helped me to do about the same thing. Leaving behind those kinda feelings to a guy and seeking God's mercy instead.

== English version ==
Sometimes God hide the sun
Giving us thunder and lightning
We cry and questioned
Where did the ray of lights go?
But actually God wanted to present us with a beautiful rainbow

== Malay version ==
Kadangkala Tuhan sembunyikan matahari
Die datangkan kita petir dan kilat
Kite menangis dan tertanya tanya
Di mana hilangnya sinar
Rupa-rupanya Tuhan nak hadiahkan pelangi indah

Source for story: http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=762

Guess what.

2009-04-06T21:45:00.007+08:00

So guess what, another pair of footwear fell apart. It happened last week, while I was at work.
Poor sandals... This is my first time having footwear fall apart consecutively.. First was the beginning of my ITP period, and the other nearing the ending of my ITP period. Hmm.. Is it a sign?

Maybe its just a sign to get better quality shoes...
Its actually my sister's. Teeheehee. But she was kinda okay with it, just told me to get a new pair. I can wear some of her shoes, but she can hardly wear mine. She's younger than me but the funny thing is that her shoe size is bigger than mine.

Another funny thing that happened last week was when my mum suddenly called me while I was on my way home from work. So this was how it went:

I picked up the call, expecting mum to ask me some random question or buy something.

Me: "Hello."

Mama(I call mum 'Mama') : "Kakak, I need your help. Do you remember the song that I was talking about yesterday? I need it, but I can't remember it now. Can u sing it for me please?"

Me: "You mean the 'Mr Sun' song?"

Mama: " Oh ya, ya..That one. I can only remember the chorus, how do you continue to the other part huh?"

Me (talking in an urgent whisper): "Huh?! You want me to sing now?? I'm in the MRT leh. What if people can hear???"

Mama: "Oh, then sing softer la, can what."

Me: "Cannot la Ma! I'm at the door already. A LOT of people are crowding around me now. If I sing, they will obviously hear!"

Mama(still persistent): "Aiya, can la, can la. A while only. Or or u go somewhere la."

Me (starting to feel like i should just give in): " Huh...erm...ok la, ok la. I find somewhere, some random corner and sing for u la.."

I didn't really went to find a corner, there was a less crowded area nearby, so I went there instead.

Me: " K, found it. So which was the part you want me to continue from?"

Mama: "Oh, its - Oh Mr Sun, Sun. Mr Golden Sun, please shine down on me. Oh Mr Sun, Sun. Mr Golden Sun, hiding behind the tree...then after that how to continue the song?"

Me (singing softly to my handphone): " These little children are asking you, to please come out so we can play with you. Oh Mr Sun, Sun. Mr Golden Sun, please shine down on me.."

Mama (becomes excited once i've helped her sing): " Oh okok! Thank you!"

After that, I just went home while thinking how funny it was previously. Most of you might not understand why my mum suddenly asked me to sing the song. You see, my mum recently applied for a course to become a kindergarten teacher.

Unfortunately, her O levels does not qualify for it, so she can't fully complete the course. So she has no other choice but to be stuck at teaching children below the age of 3. Play group teacher la, that kind.

Well, that is good enough I guess. Seeing how much effort my mum puts in lately, makes me kinda feel proud. :) And for that Mr Sun singing session, I helped her design the 'Mr Sun' on the previous night. I'm not quite sure if the lyrics are correct, don't remember much now.

So far, listening to her stories about the little kids makes me wanna join in the fun someday.
I really wanna meet one of the little girl she always mentions, called Clover. The youngest in the group. Haaa.....

Kids are soo cute only when they're small. They get really annoying once they become like my sister.. (Note the bold words, XTRA emphasis.)

YES, cute. BUT, annoying.

Cutely annoying.

1st Sapphite I Attended

2009-03-22T21:46:00.008+08:00

Last night I went to Sapphite. Its somekind like an appreciation gathering for people who have been involved in Saff-Perdaus activites. Its like saying thanks for all our effort. I was part of the Publicity Team in Ramadhan Rocks, the first SAFF event I was involved. My legs have been aching for the past couple of days. So yesterday, it was like they have kind of got better.

But since the gathering ended quite late, my friends and I rushed all the way from the mosque at Bishan to Bishan MRT at 11pm. Hence, my legs started to ache again. Mek.

But Alhamdulillah, eventually they are better now after spending most of my time at home. Work has been fine. I'm really glad and happy that everyone's treating me well, and they also like my work.

4 more weeks left... I feel upset, happy, glad, sad. I don't know. Its just a whole rojak of emotions that overwhelms me whenever I think that my stay is ending soon. I hope they'll somehow miss me too. hehe..kk, enough of this mushy stuff.

I don't have the photos that we took yesterday, but...
Here are some photos I got from my friend, Azli, yesterday morning. Its from the open house at my teacher's place during the previous Hari Raya.

Me, Kak Hawa and Azli

My teacher, Ustaz Hasrudi

My ngaji family

There's more pictures, but I don't feel the need to show all.
So, just a short update.
That's all.

graduations

2009-03-12T08:28:00.003+08:00

It has been 3 weeks i think, and i've not updated. Haha. There are a couple of events I wanna talk about. But I'll just roughly summarize to make this entry short.

5th March - I went to NYP Fusion @ NYP with some of the people from my company. I expected something that was more amazing. But overall I felt the showcase to be okay. There were some outstanding students and the work of students from the 3D side were better, as what I've heard. I took some cards and added them to my collection of business cards.

10th March - I went to SP's Grad Showcase @ Old Skool. I'm not siding my own school, or trying to praise them. But I felt that the overall presentation of the whole showcase was better compared to the previous ones I've been to.

I've been to NP's Grad Showcase too. But I don't remember when. It was okay too I guess.
Well I suck at giving critics, I know.

Aiyooo, I miss school. I miss my classmates, except for Dennis and Byan coz I just met them recently. haha. We went to the SP Grad Show together.

I keep saying I'm repenting but lately I feel like I'm losing my focus on it. Mek.

gotta work with what i've got

2009-02-25T21:02:00.003+08:00

The side of my shoe 'tore'. Boohoo..It was my favorite school shoe. I was on my way home yesterday then suddenly I felt like my shoe was slipping. Previously, the shoe was already quite loose. As usual, when I first bought it, it was kinda tight. But eventually it got kinda bigger.

The shoes that my grandma bought for me during the last fasting month.

The part that 'tore'.

I guess the first thing I'm gonna shop for during my next shopping trip would be to get a new pair of shoes then. Luckily I have one pair that is still wearable now.

The following words kinda express the state I am right now..

You got to keep on keepin' on
You got to keep your head up high
That's why you gotta work with what you've got
And someday you will fly

From Jojo's : Keep On Keepin' On

chill

2009-02-16T16:28:00.002+08:00

School is almost over, but I still have one exam left. And that is tomorrow. But for some reason my mind has already adopted the idea that its already the holidays. Time to chill...

And I've been trying to persuade myself to study for this last exam. Ahahha. I spent one whole day on Saturday just wasting my time away watching videos on youtube and a drama called 'Innocent Love' from mysoju.

But I don't feel much guilt about it, because I know I just needed some time to relax, after the past 2 weeks of madness...

That's all, just a short update.

school madness..again..

2009-02-03T21:10:00.002+08:00

Its around 3 more weeks before this academic year ends. So, as usual. There'll be a lot of assignments due and exams..tests.

Just wanna show you how busy I am, the work I gotta do -

1. Media Law & Policy Exm(MLP) - Tomorrow!!
2. Digital Media Programming(DMP) group assignment: We have to do this 3D thingy using Flex - Due this Friday
3. Is Seeing Believing Final Test(My Gems) - Due this Friday
4. Interactive Design & Development(IDD): A Flash Website featuring a sport from the Youth Olympic Games (Mine was originally gymnastics, then I changed to badminton instead) - Need to present next Monday
5. Design & Aesthetics (DEAE: I need to create my own online portfolio, business card, logo and CD design. - Due next Tuesday
6. DMP Exam - Next Wednesday
7. Revamp PERGAS Website - Due next Sunday
8. Database Management Systems(DBMS) Final Exam - 2 days after website due

Not forgetting previously I had to do a presentation for MLP, Gems group assignment and a DBMS Case Study Assignment Part 2.

And just when you thought everything was over...
5 days after that DBMS exam, {some sound effects}...JENG JENG JENG...
...my Internship starts.

Fuiyyoooo...I'll just have to work hard all the way.

I'll make sure I enjoy those 5 days, eat Oreo Cheescakes, drink Double Chocolate Frappe every day. Maybe also get myself some Famous Amos Cookies. Ahahaha.

shake it off

2009-01-30T22:56:00.002+08:00

I have a very bad habit that I can't seem to shake off.
Its like my only personal best friend that has been there for the past years.
It started when I was younger, by accident. I never really thought of it as a habit that time. I never really viewed it as something serious. I was young. I didn't know it had a name.

But when I knew of its name. Of its source and how it came about, by accident again. I started to realize that its quite serious. The habit is not often. But still... Something that has been there for years. Wouldn't it be risky to just let it continue? What if I wait any longer and I won't be able to let it go?

I don't care what others say, I've read this I've read that and there so many different opinions about it. Some people support it, some don't.The main reason I just wanna get this thing out of my life is basically coz I feel like I'm living a double life. And I really wanna follow the straight path.

I always feel as if I'm lying to myself. Like I'm lying to my own friends. My own family. They think I'm so good, pious maybe. But truth is I'm fighting with my own devil within me.

I know my character is sometimes very silly and I do get people laughing at me because of it. But its okay.

The next time when you see me, I hope you understand that no matter how goody I appear to be.I once shouted at my own mother, made my dad cry and almost ruined my own life.

And I'm still battling this silent battle with myself against this habit I have.

Adeely Ice Cream

2009-01-20T15:36:00.004+08:00

I've owned two phones so far. The first was Nokia. (I don't remember the model number though). The second is Sony Ericsson K700i. Now I have a third one.

When I first got my Nokia phone, I was one of those who specially had 'coloured' display phones. I remember very well that during that time, there was this common Nokia phone that was popular among people around my age. It wasn't coloured. The display screen was either yellow or blue. It was quite obvious too see that the display were mostly pixels. Like you can see all the little dots or boxes. And there was this popular snake game everyone loved to play in them.

During that time, my dad let me use line. But for some reason, the network was kinda unrealiable. The network was not good and I was waiting for a message. There was this point of time I put my Nokia phone nearby the window since the network was stronger around that area. And guess what? Ah, maybe you don't need to guess coz you might have already expected.

A message came, my phone vibrated, and....it slid down and CRACK!
My Nokia phone attempted a suicide from my window, which was on level 4.
Yes, I was that silly.. Its stupid obviously.

Then what did I do?
I SCREAMED la of coz! Ahahahha. And quickly went down to rescue my phone. Downstairs, the phone was split to 3 pieces. The body, cover and battery. I tried to turn it on and it wouldn't. :(

My dad sent it to the phone hospital. And miraculously it survived!

But it didn't last long, only for about 1 and half years. Its final days were toturing to me. Mek. The display light just refused to work. And I had to use a torchlight to see what I was typing!
Ahahaha..

Shortly after its death, my dad got me the Sony Ericsson phone. It was a last minute thing, so I didn't have the time to take my own sweet time to choose the model I really really like.

I was into 'diamonds', 'gems', 'sparkly things' that time. So I went to decorate the side of the screen of my phone by pasting some sequins. Its supposed to be sewn on cloth I know. But that was the cheapest 'jewelery' I could get, to paste on my hp with SUPER GLUE... Yes, I did another silly thing again...

I did the same thing to my spectacles too. K, that's another topic about spectacles. So ya, back to my Sony Hp. Eventually it came of. And they left this circular mark pasted at the side of my screen. It IS obviously ugly la. Everytime I looked at my phone, those 5 marks reminded me of how silly I was that time. Ahahaha.

But the good thing about this phone was, I used it for 3 years! I had so much memories with it. There were times I wanted to change but I felt kinda attached to that phone. Ahaha. I soon got irritated with it due to the buttons. It got to a point where I wouldn't reply an sms coz I don't wanna type, due to those buttons. Also because I want a change and the camera wasn't that amazing from the start.

So I made it a point to get a new phone with a better camera. Also, I wanted to try flip phones. That's when I found the LG KF350! a.k.a LG Ice Cream Phone. Mine is blue and I named it Adeely Ice Cream. Ahahaha. Originally I thought of getting the Motorola Razor, but I find that the LG phone was cuter and fun. Especially with all the LED on the cover.

I still have the Sony Ericson phone with me. Its still in an okay condition to use, except for the buttons. But the shop I bought my LG phone from didn't want to buy it. Probably because it looks too hideous now. Ahaha.
And guess what! I bought my LG phone at the same shop I bought my Sony 3 years ago. Didn't plan to buy it from there actually. Hmm..Maybe its fate. Ahahaha.

Hmm, I think watching this video is better. Since you can see whats so special about it.

I didn't want to spoil that moment.

2009-01-12T21:54:00.003+08:00

We met. We walked. We sit. We talked.

"I still have our pictures."

"Really? U still have it till now?"

"Yeah I kept it."

Felt quite touched but embarrassed at the same time.
Hesitates to answer... " Erm, I lost mine."

"Oh, ok.."

In my heart I said to myself,
"Actually I cut them up. To tiny little pieces. Like the state of my heart that day.
Because I was so disappointed."

I'm sorry I lied. I didn't want to spoil that moment.
Forgive me.

But I'm not upset with anything in the past now. I'm happy. I'm glad.
We've matured.
Its such a miracle that you and me are still good friends.
After all that we've been through.
I know we're cool.

Let's leave it up to fate to decide, this time.
Missing u

school started

2009-01-03T10:49:00.003+08:00

School started on Monday for SP students. I am not sure about other Polytechnics. Previously,I was kinda enthusiastic about updating my blog regularly. However, I kinda lost the momentum and become inconsistent again. I don't know why though. But actually I am always using my laptop most of the time. But, it seems to me like updating was beginning to feel like a chore. Ahahaha.

But well, I managed to blog again today. Originally I wanted to post up some pictures and share some outings I went for the past 2 weeks, with my family. But I decided not.

Lately I've been designing a logo for myself. Also, thinking of some ideas for my assignment.
We are to design a portfolio, CD packaging and a business card. Individually.

I showed my lecturer my concept and sketches yesterday and her feedback was that I need to put in more interactivity and not base it heavily on metaphors. I like designing, and even thought of becoming a graphic designer one day. But in Singapore, its difficult to get a job that does pure graphic design. Most of the time, they'll say that knowing some programming skills is an advantage. This is as of what I've read in job vacancies ads.

Thus, I am making use of my programming skills as an advantage. And with programming, I should be able to do some interactive. SO she asked me to improve on my ideas or create new ones that has more relation to what I wanna do. So that's all I gonna talk about. Mostly about school..again..ahahha

I feel like I am walking on air

2008-12-18T11:45:00.003+08:00

Some pictures to share from the outing to West Coast last Sunday:

My little cousins. Adriana, Me, Rifdi

I don't know what they were doing anyways.

My sister took all the pics using her phone.

I feel like I am walking on air. Because the holidays are here and I finally have my own time to do the things I want, things that I've been putting aside for the past few months. The great thing is I have done quite a number so far. But the holidays is ending soon. So I gotta make sure I don't waste time.

Examples of the things I've wanted to do and have done so are: Washing my laptop case and school bag, start exercising at my own pace at home, update my blog regularly(ahahaha), do research for my portfolio, eat Oreo cheesecake at MacCafe when I feel like it, organise the files in my harddisks, go out and watch late-night movies online till 3am with my sister.
And many more...

So ya, its a mix of 'waste-time' activities and useful ones too. One last good news!
I am finally going to start to read the Quran for my ngaji, coz I completed my Iqra on Tuesday.
Its the same as saying I have graduated from the normal alphabets, phrases and now I can read a proper book, explanation for those who might not understand.

That's all. Oh ya, Kanye West's LoveLockdown sounds great. I don't care if any of you might not like it. It is creative and unique, so I love it. Ahahaha.

There were times I only had 1 post in a month

2008-12-14T07:10:00.003+08:00

I woke up very early today because I was in the mood to blog. Ahaha. Nah. That's not really the reason why I woke up early. After doing my Subuh(morning) prayers I wasn't really sleepy, so I decided to read through all my previous posts. So, then it eventually made me want to blog.

Blogging

After reading my previous posts, I came to this conclusion: I talked soo much! Complains, updates, school, love stories, about friends, school, work, advices, poems, school. However, I don't have that many posts. The maximum were just around 4-5 posts per month? I think so. There were times I only had 1 post in a month!

I think most of the time was me saying how busy I am with school and assignments.
Well actually that is not exactly true, because there ARE times where I am very free. Like now. Just that maybe most of the time when i update is during my busy period, to just kinda update, i guess.

Madrasah Exams

I completed my madrasah(islamic) exams yesterday. Alhamdulillah. So I eventually thought of continuing my islamic studies by signing up with this program that is like similar to A levels. But not exactly the same. Then, eventually moving up to getting a diploma or something. But I guess, that dream would have to be put aside for a while, due to financial reasons. I told my mum its okay, I'll go for it when I am officially working full-time. Then I can pay for it myself. Or if some random rich person wanna sponser me now. AHAHAHA.

Apologies

I am not a hard-core fan of posting up pictures, I will if I need to. So sorry if my posts are mostly words and it gets boring.

Performances

Last Wednesday I went to the Victoria Theater Concert Hall, Lottie was having a performance there. It was a performance mainly about dancing. It was produced from her dance school. Dancepointe. And she was one of the main cast, she was Cinderella! So pretty & cute. Ahaha. Too bad I have no pictures, forgot to take the pictures.

I went with Shimma. But we sneaked out 45 mins earlier because it was getting late and we really needed to go home. ehehehe. I thought it would take around 2 hours, never expected it to take 3 hours. But we did inform her about us leaving earlier.

And this coming Saturday, I will be going there again! My cousin, Nur is gonna perform a play! Wah, visit to that place 2 times this year. And finally I am a part of the audience. Last time, I was always a performer. So I did performed at the Victoria Theater once, when I was in choir, secondary school days.

We Got Married

I have not really mentioned much about my We Got Married (WGM) Addiction. But basically my favourite couple, the lettuce couple, HwangBo and Hyun Joong are gonna leave the show. So i am very sad about it. Huhuhu.. I am sooo going to miss them. But! I will make sure I watch out for any upcoming dramas/shows that they're gonna be in. Then can see them again!..ehehe.. Now I am happy again..Hahaha...

Play On Sunday

My family is going to West Coast to play later. So hopefully there will be some pictures or something. ahaha. Bu-bye!

No amount of male attention is going to fill that emptiness

2008-12-12T12:46:00.009+08:00

I sat in the car that night and watched you while my heart tore to shreds. You were so pretty, so confident, so relaxed as you strolled across the street while your "boyfriend" casually rested his arm on your shoulder. How I longed to get out of the car, take anything I could get my hands on, and cover you with it, that I might conceal some of what you deemed prudent to reveal and save you from being the object of lustful gazes.

Sure, your jeans fitted well, like a second skin, and your bare shoulders glistened beneath the street lights. No doubt, the effect you had aimed to achieve had been realized, but was Allah pleased with the effect you produced?

That "look" that you spend such a lot of time cultivating — tell me, what will be its end? All of us at last will enter a dark and lonely earth-filled grave, where your body that you spent so much time trying to perfect for the eyes of others will be food for the worms and ants.

The music that blared from the speakers of the car that you had emerged from shook the very earth beneath me, but undoubtedly an earthquake from Allah would have shook the ground even more. Where would that have left us, my dearest sister? Are you ready to meet your Lord?

And then the Azan rang out. Not one of your friends switched off their thumping music. The call, sent to us by Allah since the time of His blessed Prophet, fell on deaf ears that were accustomed to the voice of Setan alone.

And I cried as I thought of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah upon him) wandering the streets of Ta'if, calling towards the Oneness of God, towards a path that you have been blessed with, without any effort on your part. I cried as I pictured the stones from street urchins hitting his blessed body.

Could you imagine yourself to be one of those who cast stones at the beloved of Allah and said to him, "Your way is not for me. Go, for I am at peace with what I have found. My desires reign supreme." Could it be that you are thinking like them — those who drew blood from his blessed body and caused his shoes to stick to his feet because of the excessive blood flowing into them?

I had to stifle the urge to get out of the car, stand in the middle of the street, and shout at all of you to stop! For Allah's sake — stop! My dearest sister, I love you. More than anything, I desire success for you. And what is success? Is it attracting the glance of men who desire you for nothing more than your body? Is it going out and having a "good time"? I would never want to see you suffer. But time has taught me that the path you are on is a slippery one that leads to nothing more than misery.

Once upon a time, I too believed that there was nothing more to life than having "fun." I too reveled in male attention that gave me a sense of self-worth — until I found purpose.

"What is purpose?" you ask. One word — Allah and following His way. That means leading a life filled with service to mankind and spreading goodness. No amount of male attention is going to fill that emptiness, the void left by not having Allah in your life.

I will pray for you and keep hoping that we will someday be friends in Paradise. Amin. Until then, I'm ready to help you in any way. I am your sister in Islam.

I read this article from: http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=1165 and thought of sharing it. I did some editing to it to match with my experience since I find that the article really reflects how I feel towards some of my friends around me.

The message in this picture is really beautiful and I really like it very much.

don't have much to say

2008-12-09T21:59:00.003+08:00

So I had an injection last Friday, and some medication and cream to put on.
I stayed home on Saturday and on Sunday I had my madrasah(islamic studies) final exam.
I'm finally graduating! ahaha..

It was Hari Raya Haji yesterday, and I stayed over at Yishun, my grandma's place last nite.
It was alright, staying over with my cousin. Just that most of the time we were just watching tv, since its the only thing we could do. ahaha.

My good friend H called last night. Its good that he's doing well, since he's miles away.

I don't have much to say, so bubye!

poor handling of stress = eczema party

2008-12-03T22:38:00.004+08:00

I don't know exactly how I got a skin condition. All I know was, all the while I was always eating whatever I want. Since young, I had no allergy whatsoever. So, when I was in my upper secondary school days and I found out about Eczema, I was just confused. Never heard of it, but I got it.

And I can't get rid of it.
I'm gonna be stuck with it.
Forever.

"All you can do is to reduce its breakouts and maintain it"
That was what the doctor said.
"And you can't eat too much Chicken, Chocolate, Dairy Products, Seafood"
That time my dad was there, and he said:
"Oh, those are the type of food she likes to eat, especially chocolate and chicken"

And my dad was nagging at me after that first doctor visit. Saying I eat too much la, cannot have too much chocolate la. Chicken also.
I was so sad. My two most favorite food had to be reduced.
And that doctor visit happened, last year.

I visited up to 3 to 4 doctors. But finally this current doctor helped a lot and made sure there were some improvement to my skin. But still.. It will go then it wil come back, go again, come back.

I visited this doctor a lot of times after that. And he's clinic is at Woodlands. Most of the time I go to Woodlands, just to go to his clinic. Coming to get more cream, buy medication. There were a couple of times I had to get an injection coz it was extremely itchy.

Then another cause that he told me was that I cannot be stressed out. It promotes the eczema breakout, also known as Eczema having a party on my skin. Ahahahaha.

I realise I handle my stress level very poorly. A little stress is alright to me, but I won't know when it gets too much. I keep saying I'm not, but maybe I really am. Maybe due to the assignments the past few weeks. And one more that is due this week. I always stay up until so late. This is one of my baddest bad habit.

See the consequence:
My biological clock became screwed. The time can be 12AM and I am still so fresh. Last time, when it was 10PM, I'll definitely get sleepy. I'm trying to repair it now.

HAAAH.. K, that's it. I've complained enough. I wanna go sleep now. My mum is bringing me to the clinic again. FINALLY. It has been so long since I went there to get more medication. And all my cream has been used up.

I seriously want an injection this Friday. Can't stand it.
Bye!

I'm praying that I'll make it

2008-12-01T21:52:00.002+08:00

I don't know what my fate will be.
But I've been planning it for so long.
I'm doing the best I can.
And I'm always trying to show the best side of me.
I'm praying that I'll make it.

I don't want to depend on anyone.

~ rewrote it from the lyrics of OneRepublic's: Say(All I Need)

school madness

2008-11-30T11:15:00.008+08:00

It was school madness the past few weeks. One more week to go and it'll be the holidays.
I can hardly wait.

So let's see..
2009 Calendar
The Calendar Assignment that I did with Kathy was great, our calender was chosen by the client due to the illustrations. There were about 2 to 3 calendars selected. One was chosen because of its packaging, another was chosen because of its concept, ours was due to the illustrations. And most of the calendars that were chosen were from my class!

Mobile Game Assignment
It was an individual assignment that we had to do using FlashLite. The theme for the game was the 'save the environment' kind of game. My game was about repairing objects. Its called The Green Repair (TGR).

The goal of the game is to repair objects correctly. Players will be given a card that represents an object that needs to be repaired.They are required to remember the details of the object well to help them in the next part of the game.

After that, players will be shown 4 cards that looks similar to the card shown before.If player chooses the right card that matches the card before, player has successfully repaired the object without wasting resources.But if player chooses the wrong card, player has wasted resources for repairing the wrong object.

The original idea was not like the one I described above. It was much much more complicated. And the graphics would have been too heavy for a mobile phone to handle. Also, because we were still quite new to FlashLite. Thus, my lecturer asked me to simplify the game by making use of cards instead.

The first few tries were not very good, my graphics were very boring. And my coding was messy. Also, some were from other people's codes. Thus, I kinda revamped my whole game. You see, I'm not very good at coding. So I'll always a friend like Dennis for help. But then I started to feel like I wanna really learn from my mistakes and not depend on others too much.

I wanted to design MY own illustrations and do MY own coding. And that was what I did. I tried to find solutions online and from books. Only when I've tried so hard and still couldn't get it then I'll ask from him. And I felt better. I spent 18 hours, day and night to kinda redo my whole game before submission. It wasn't perfect, of course. But I did what I could do.

Some screen shots:

26.11.08
First time we spent 6 hours going out. Last time, we were only out for about 2-3 hours. Time passed, we grew older. You're taller now. We've not met for the past 3 years. It seems perfect to others that we're still good friends. Everything happened by accident. Me being with you wasn't on purpose either.

I was trying so hard to get the good things after you left, three years ago. But eventually I gave up and waited. But waiting wasn't enough for me, because all the good things were passing by infront of me. So I tried catching them, but I failed. Three times this year.

Then I decided to stop. Because I realized I have you. But we're not proceeding with anything now. You wanna get ready. I wanna get ready. Religiously, mentally, financially and emotionally.
We'll see how, in about 2 to 3 years time, or maybe longer. When we're older, matured and have more experience with life on our own.

But still, from time to time I will still have crushes on others. But then it will just fade away. ALWAYS...ahahaha. And I'm happy you understand that.

But don't put your hopes too high on this plan. We can only plan but Allah decides it all.
HE will decide our fate.

Thank you, H.
For making me feel that someone wants to be with me.

I still have got another assignment to complete = A website prototype
Tests = Database Management and GEMS
Exms = Madrasah final exams

Oh ya! Before I forget. I wanna do some promoting here.
Bitney's new album is being featured in imeem.com. You can listen to all the songs in FULL for FREE!Yes, its great. I've been blasting her songs from my speakers for the past 4 days.

I'm a big fan of Britney and Ashlee Simpson, but only people from primary and secondary school knows about it. I kinda stop showing it when I came to poly. ahahha. Don't know why. Will talk more about it soon, but not so soon.

So, I will update again! When all those things are over. Ahahahaha.

2008-11-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

me and my funny actions

2008-11-10T22:54:00.002+08:00

At first I thought of blogging about my recent assignment, the calendar. But Im too lazy to type so much now. Instead, I am going to share my solution to the cycle problem I've been facing as how I put in the previous post.

My sister suggested that:

Whenever i notice name is there
Smile
Click on name for prompt
Type 'Hello'
Select backspace after that
Delete ALL the way
Alt - F4
Be happy
Coz i typed something
To that name
...
....
....Even though name never read it

God, why am i so shy.
I feel so pathetic.
I keep holding back.
I keep thinking I need reasons to even talk.
I WANNA TALK.
I just wanna click and just say hi.
And just talk.
Without reasons.

i wanted to have a conversation

2008-11-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

I am currently feeling very exhausted, especially with my DEAE assignment. Which is to create a calendar. Also there some other things that needs to be done. I don't want to remind myself about it here. It will only make me even more irritated.

So, lets just share a poem/thought/whatevr you call it, since I'm in the mood to blog and this thing has been spinning around in my head.

Name appears
I smiled
Waited
No conversation
Why don't i start?
But I had no reasons
Failed attempt
NIL conversation
I frown
Find other things
Did them
Made myself busy
Thought goes away
....
......
Then,....
next day name appears again!
Circular cycle begins again.

alhamdulillah

2008-10-28T22:29:00.003+08:00

I have 3 good news and 1 bad news.

So lets start with the bad news. ahaha. There's something wrong with my right eye. The eyelid above my right eye seems to be swollen or something. I am not very sure, but I keep feeling this annoying pain whenever I blink too hard. Hmm..I hope its nothing and it would go away soon.

Maybe my eyes are too tired? Maybe I need more sleep? Or maybe it was because of the eye makeup remover I used last night?

The 3 good news:

On Saturday, my family when to Changi Beach at night, we had the usual Nasi Lemak. But this time, me and my sisters played on the swings. And my parents even joined in! At first my dad was acting all macho and cool not wanting to play the swing with us. He just stood there watching my sisters and my mother swinging.
Then he was playfully trying to sit on the swing, saying that it fits la, that it seems good enough for him.

At last he just played too..ahahaha. And each of us were happily swinging together. My smallest sister and I sang 'Que Sera Sera'. ahaha

Its doesn't sound like is good news but it was just a happy thing to me, because we were enjoying ourselves, as a family.

Then yesterday, I went out with my cousins from my father's side for the first time! ahaha. We know each other for so long but never went out with each other before. ahaha.
It was so much fun and we laughed a lot. We were originally planning to go Bugis, but since it was such a hot day, we decided to go VivoCity instead. AIR-CON!

We took this in the MRT. Nina, Nisa and Me.
Not in the picture were Nur and my sis.

Finally, the last good news is...
I got the internship at Avantworks!
ehehehe. ALHAMDULILLAH.
My hard work paid off. But for now I wanna get ready for it. So that I would be able to make a useful contribution during the internship. And learn lots and lots of stuff.

Thank you Allah, for all this wonderful things u've blessed me with.
Family, Relatives, Work.
Alhamdulillah.

i don't want to be sick

2008-10-22T15:15:00.003+08:00

For the past 2 days, I've been having a blocked nose at nights and sneezing all day. I think I have a flu. And I know where I got it from. I think it was from my classmate, Amalina. She was having a flu last week. So I think that should be the reason. It should be..

Sometimes I feel energetic then I'll start to feel giddy. And my eyes are tearing all the time. School ended at 12 today. So I had the chance to go home early. (Finally...)

I have tutoring to do later but I don't feel like going. Ahaha.

Since I'm in my second year, we're all required to go for an internship during our next vacation, next year. So, to avoid from being given a company that I might not like working in, the lecturers have been encouraging us to source out for our own internship companies.

I am applying for an internship to a company a friend introduced to me. I am trying my best to get it. I hoped it works.

* I miss eating famous amos cookies...

LATEly, I've been EARLY, when I am usually LATE

2008-10-20T01:02:00.004+08:00

School has just started for the past week. For the first few days, I was always looking forward to the lessons. But eventually I just could not wait till it was the weekends again. And today is already Monday! Weekends over.. Meekkk..

My hardworking attitude keeps coming and go according to its mood. This is getting ridiculous coz I can't seem to be constant in my work. At times I'll feel so motivated to do some good things, then I'll eventually procrastinate till the day is over.

I have a huge enemy and that is procrastination. I've been trying to get rid of it for months! And I am getting impatient. This is not a good thing for me.

However, I have do have some good news and that is I was late for school only one for the past week! Almost everyday, I was early or right on time! Especially 8 a.m lessons.

I use to hate 8a.m lessons in the previous Semester. Because its early to me and I 'll ALWAYS be late for that class. But, I've found the solution!

I tend to take an extra 5- 10 minutes for last minute things or checks. So..
For example, I have a 9a.m class. I'll tell my self that I HAVE to get ready by 8.am. As expected, I needed the 5- 10 minutes extra time. By the time I got out of the house it was about 8.20.
More than enough time to go to school!

Last time? I would have probably gotten out of the house only at around 8.40 or later.

Lesson learnt: Always be ready one hour beforehand. There'll surely be 5-10 minutes to spare, for emergencies, whatsoever.

You bring your laugh & I'll bring my sense of humor

2008-10-10T22:42:00.003+08:00

You tell me you've fallen for me
Like you can't take your eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But every time you come to close, I move away

I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
I've got some straightenin' out to do
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending
And I foresee the dark ahead if i stay

I must take the baby steps 'til i'm full grown
I've found dreams I'm chasing for,
And the pain I felt before made me strong

I'll be your good friend and you'll be mine
You bring your laugh and I'll bring my sense of humor
We'll create good memories
And one day we'll remember

If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone

A combination of phrases of various lyrics, songs from Britney, Fergie, Ashlee Simpson & Jojo.
A few additional phrases were either added or modified.

I've found certain phrases from different songs that match together. Basically it makes up the feelings and thoughts I have inside now.

i finally have pictures to show seh

2008-10-08T20:54:00.005+08:00

Basically, my weekends were spent on visiting relatives. Then I had to go Yishun again, to stay there for a couple of days to accompany my grandma.

I had my first jalan raye with friends yesterday. And wow, Wandi brought a lot of friends. My sister was practically shy due to the number of boys who were going with us. I bet she's gonna scream at me once she reads this.

So I'm finally back home again and still have not continued with my school assignment. I just can't seem to find the motivation to do so.

Yesterday, even though I didn't know half of the group, I made a lot of freinds. I guess the saying 'You shouldn't judge a book by its cover is so true'. Because, I thought they were gonna be a bunch of rowdy and noisy group of people. But, Alhamdulillah. I was wrong.

I still have yet to do my Ishak prayer and continue my school stuff. So I'm gonna end off this post with 3 pictures!

This little girl was acting cute not wanting to take a picture with me
(My Irritating but Adorable sis, Elyana)

Zimah, the random sis and Me

And finally! A picture of me.
I keep smiling whenevr I see this.

My sister took this photo of me when I was eating a lolipop at a house we were visiting.
(I was bored and tired)

friday friday friday

2008-10-03T18:09:00.004+08:00

i didn't do much today. I woke up due to the shoutings of the karang guni man downstairs. There were 3 smses and 1 missed call from my sis. I met her and we rushed down to have our breakfast at Macdonalds. I woke up at 10. ahaha.

I bought a new shampoo and conditioner. Also, i have a new haircut! ahaha. It was so random. I woke up and suddenly thought of cutting my hair. My previous hair length was only shoulder-length. And now its even shorter.

I feel as if I haven't done much studying, or practicing my skills, so I decide to play around with Flash, drawing high heels. Eventually I got bored and played some online racing games.

We're going to go out for Raya later to my cousin's place. But actually I don't have the mood to go out because I'm still not done with my assignments.

I am so mek.

new look

2008-10-03T00:07:00.003+08:00

I actually had the mood to blog after having to update my club's blog.
But after all those adjustments I had to do to change my own blog's look, gradually I have no mood to blog much now. Why am i always so not in the mood?

I think I've been using this phrase 'not in the mood' too many times. Also, its midnight. haa..
I always pick the wrong timing to blog about long stories.

Since I'm free tomorrow, I think I will continue tomorrow.

*Don't mind the pic, will get it changed.

this is becoming boring

2008-09-14T00:57:00.005+08:00

SO. Lets just update:

- Its the holidays and we're fasting.
- I just went for a Ramadhan Rocks Camp.
- I made a lot of new friends from SAF.
- I thought i found my future husband there. ahahahaha..
- I gave up my post as the Assistant Showcase Director for my club's showcase coz i felt that i was too tied down with other responsibilities.
- I was rejected 2 times in a row. But i never regret it.
- I have a crush on someone.
- & I don't intend to tell him.
- I intend to quit my job before they fire/replace me.
- I'm gonna stay over at Yishun for some days every week to accompany my granny since she's living alone.
- Charlotte just had her birthday, gonna have dinner with her and Shimma soon.
- Amazingly, i miss school.

* Maybe i should change the way i blog, this is becoming boring.

Allah's Hidayah is always there, around us.

2008-09-01T12:02:00.000+08:00

A very short yet inspiring story. I found it from iluvislam.com. Allah's Hidayah is always there, around us. It comes in all sorts of forms. It's either we are aware of it or we simply take advantage on it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, for the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren’t enough to ruin my day, a young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.

He stood right before me with his head tilted down and said with great excitement, “Look what I found!”

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, with it’s petals all worn, not enough rain, or too little light. Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a small smile and then shifted away. But instead of retreating he sat next to my side and placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise, “It sure smells pretty and it’s beautiful, too. That’s why I picked it; here it’s for you.”

The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, “Just what I need.” But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, he held it mid-air without reason or plan. It was then that I noticed for the very first time that weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun as I thanked him for picking the very best one. You’re welcome, he smiled, and then ran off to play, unaware of the impact he’d had on my day. I sat there and wondered how he managed to see a self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. How did he know of my self-indulged plight?

Perhaps from his heart, he’d been blessed with true sight. Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see the problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that’s mine. And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose. And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand about to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

catch me again every time i fall

2008-08-22T07:48:00.001+08:00

Young girl of only eighteen
I had some trouble with myself
You were always there to help me
But you always belonged to someone else

Will you mind spending everyday
Out in the corner in the pouring rain?
Look out for this girl with the broken smile
Ask me if i want to stay awhile?
And will i be loved.
Will i be loved?

You know all of the things that make me who i am
You know my goodbye means nothing at all
So come back and catch me again every time i fall

I'll tap on your window and knock on your door
But will you make me feel beautiful?

he just turned 68yrs old

2008-08-17T12:00:00.003+08:00

It was his birthday the day before.
And he turned 68 yrs old.
The following day.
Friday night, at 10pm.
He passed away.

My Grandfather.

I spent a whole day at my grandma's place yesterday. And i'm going again later. I have two more assignments and a task to do. But frankly speaking, i just don't have the mood to do anything. The sombre atmosphere i've been experiencing the past two days has drained most of my energy to do my schoolwork and the website due. But i'll try. I have to.

That friday night, at 11pm. My mother and i went to Tan Tock Seng hospital because my auntie called. She said the doctor called her previously and said that my grandfather was found lying on the ground by the roadside. His motorbike, lying nearby.

We got there, and we waited for a very long time. Most of my aunties and my grandma thought it wasn't something serious. Because, even though my grandfather had some leg problems, but overall he was actually quite strong. Then when the doctor came out, he told us a very long-winded story. About how they found him, to what happend in the ambulance and what they did upon reaching the emergency room. " ...we tried a lot of things...we tried to revive him.."

My aunties were practically going "Huh? What are you trying to say??"
Basically they just wanna know what happened to him, like maybe he is in a critical condition, or maybe he needs an operation or something. They never expected him leaving forever.

Once we found out he passed away. Suddenly, everyone started crying. I consoled my mother and my aunties. I think my uncles were crying too, not sure though. I was the only grand-child there, but later, my cousin came too.

There has been a number of times, i read storybooks that involves someone dying. Maybe a mother or the sister or whoever it is. And sometimes they give the last goodbye kiss or touch to the late person. And the description for that was: cold.

So i never knew how to imagine, how 'cold' a dead person can be. So when i can kissed my grandfather on the forehead, i knew how it felt. However, when i look at his face and knowing he won't wake up, i felt like he was just sleeping.

My mum says it is a good sign, that he left in a good way because he was a very pious man.
I hope he is among the good people, and go to heaven.

forgive me body

2008-08-12T22:42:00.004+08:00

Last nite i slept with my mum and my small sister.
I've been having nightmares lately.
4th time this week.
My mum says coz I've been sleeping late too much.
Kathy says the same but also added that I think too much.

I think i need to slow down.
Coz i keep working, day after day. Doing this and rushing for that.
School, tuition, study, assignments, club, RR etc.

Maybe because my time management sucks.
Or the workload is piling.

I am thinking of giving up the position of assistant show director for the Makeup Club Showcase.
I hope that would be a wise decision.
Coz i know i need take it easy, my body will fail if i go on like this.

Its 10.45 pm. I am officially exhausted.
Usually around this time, i am still wide awake.
I cannot rebel against my body's own needs anymore.
Its what I've been doing and its not good.

i'll try

2008-08-11T22:41:00.002+08:00

Its very tiring when you have to guard ur own feelings, especially towards someone who've known u well. Whom you've been quite comfortable talking with.
But i have to. To avoid the same mistake.

Its not the same when you're guarding ur feelings to a stranger, or just a normal friend.
It feels different to me.

feeling like a wallpaper

2008-08-11T01:08:00.002+08:00

A wallpaper - something u paste it on the wall. At first, u you'll fuss about it, its size, design etc. Whether it matches the room's theme whatsoever.. But eventually, after its up on the wall, you'll just stop noticing it. Once u know its there, then after that you don't bother about it much. You see it. But nothing happens.

I know a wallpaper is not a verb, not a feeling. But i feel that.
I feel very wallpaper.
I feel like I"M a wallpaper.
Especially now.

Its mostly not about the part where we need to care about the size/design etc. But its more about the "just stop noticing it" part. I'm not aiming at anyone in particular, just that a group of people whom i thought were gonna be welcoming.

I'm not sad. I just wished that i'd be more friendly, or sociable. Then maybe this wallpaper feeling won't be there.
Am i THAT un-sociable?

*Maybe there's something better.
But at least i know some people who don't make me feel wallpaper-ish.

18 yrs + 3 days old

2008-08-03T01:46:00.003+08:00

I wanted to blog on my b'day but I was too busy settling my school stuff. So yes, i am now officially 18 yrs and 3 days old. ahaha.

I would like to thank the following people for wishing me:
* I put it in order of when i hear/read the birthday wish

Mum(i stayed up late that nite and she was still awake so wished me first, ahaha)
Tara (she thought it was my 17th birthday, ahahaa)
My Sis (kept annoying me by asking what day that day was, when i obviously know the answer)
Amalina (gave me a packet of chocolates, ahaha, it became my breakfast)
Kathy (ask me when i'm buying my ds lite)
Cherrie (wished me once just found out abt it)
Charlotte (we ate at siamKitchen, thai food!)
Ms Janny (same as cherrie, we were in her class, ahaha)
Eliza (smsed me, so nice)
Raihan (smsed me, wah, he remembers, hehe. btw, i want d whole world to know he was my most favourite boyfriend among all the guys i dated. ahaha)
Kak Aqidah (smsed me too, very sweet)
Zaki (eliza told him, but it was nice he did wished me too)
Sock Hoon (she wished me and put it on the club blog!)
Shimma (we talked on msn, then she rememberd)
Wandi (my previous ngaji friend, just found out he wished me in friendster, thank yous)
Ridzuan (my sp friend, just found out he wished me in friendster too, thank yous)
Nurul (my M.I friend, just found out she wished me in friendster also, thank yous)

This screenshot was from the club blog. I just read it just now. It is sooo sweet. Awww..ahaha.

Yes, i have got nothing better to do so that's why i'm blogging abt my birthday. Don't have much to say though. Sorry to those whom i might have missed out and didn't mention. There were some people whom i thought might remember, but never wished me, but its ok. I guess its karma. I didn't wish Han for his brithday on time and i felt really bad. Sorry to those whom i may not have wished earlier on! Especially to those who just wished me. ehehe

I did the same thing last yr, i wrote it down on a piece of paper. But no one saw it, and i don't know where is it now! ahaha.
My purpose of recording it down is so that one day if i were to come back and read, at least i know who were the people who remembered and cared about me at that point of time.
And i'll be happy!
ahahaha..

Yes, its so easy to make me happy. Buy me a chocolate and i'll smile, get me famous amos cookie and i'll be more than happy.

* My sis bought me a present today. ehehe. Im buying hers nxt week. Just got my pay today. yeay yeay.

even though i was the last to know

2008-07-22T08:27:00.005+08:00

My sister's b'day is tomorrow. But I don't have much $$$ to buy her a gift now. I'll get my pay next week, so will get her something then. Good news!

1. I got 74/100 for my Makeup Exam. The highest was Kim, she got 80.
2. My teacher has decided to hire me again to do a website, and also to redesign the poster I did before, because they need to publish it in the newspapers but the poster lacks images.
3. I am part of the Publicity Team for this event that is going to happen during the fasting month (Ramadhan). Its called Ramadhan Rocks. Aiming especially at youths 13-21. So what i do is to basically design the banner, poster, etc. Yes! More designing!
4. Even though the pressure of knowing A LOT of assignments are due soon, but I'm just gonna look forward to the HOLIDAYS tht is coming soon!

* Upon discovering the birth of a new life and a new maritul status, she thought that her friend had changed, that she wanted to avoid her. She just felt it was unfair that such important things wasn't told and shared with her.

Her friend | | What she told me
I didn't want you to worry || that's what friends do, we are supposed to worry for each other
I wanted you to be happy || i would have been more than happy to help you
Ure the only friend that knows || it feels better now to know that you actually trust me so much

I was very bz, and im gonna be bz again this week.

2008-07-06T22:10:00.003+08:00

I'm in an ok mood now, so dats y i've decided to update.
Last week was seriously bz and mad.
I was rushing from one place to another.

There was the makeup photoshoot i had to go, makeup practice on my model, tuition, ngaji and also school. WOAh. Looking back, im just amazed at how i manged to cope with all that.

This is just gonna be a quick update, coz i wanna slp soon.
I had a photography trip to the Botanical Gardens on saturday.
It was tiring but very fun. ahahhaa. And it rained, so we spent some time waiting in a shelter.

I can't upload pic, don't know y. Maybe tmr or tuesday upload then.

hunting down for new videos to watch

2008-06-27T23:41:00.002+08:00

Well, i suddenly have the mood to blog in today.
Just a little update on my days.

So i had two assignments that was due this week. And two presentation too. Lucky for me, I had no MST. But i will have some tests, at the end of this semester.

Well enough abt skool, im bored talking abt it.

Lets see how my video-watching sessions has been:

I have practically given up on watching the Indonesian drama, Jelita on youtube. Because it was getting kinda boring for me. Not boring as in that boring. Just that, when there is the bad character, he/she is just so bad that you just hate him/her. Then when its the good character, he/she is so good, until i find them sometimes so hopeless and stupid whenevr the bad one does something to them, till they suffer.

So ya, i admit i can't handle too high intensive, climax, plot, dramatic videos/dramas. Just don't like the feeling when the drama makes u feel angry or fed-up. I can handle for the first few times, but if its just too much, I'll just feel mek and switch off.

Absolute boyfriend drama is ending soon!. sad ah..need to find a new drama to watch.
Currently, i've been sticking to we got married. The last drama i've finishd watching is this korean drama called Bad Couple. Really gooood..

Ok, enough of the talk, I wanna find some good dramas to start watching, and off to slp.

Oh-noes.

2008-06-23T21:50:00.002+08:00

My last post was on the beggining of June, and it was the start of school holidays.
But today holiday has already ended! And June's gonna be up soon too!
aahahahaha..

For a while i was contemplating, whether should i update. Funny isn't it.
I have to think and decide whether to keep my blog alive. Ahaha. And im in-charge of my club's blog. Hohohoh. How nice. A lazy blogger incharge of a club's blog when her own blog itself is almost dying.

An assignment that i have been doing is a Web assignment. Im doing a homepage for my club. Just for an assignment,but i think i might use it later on.

I just got a new haircut and grey eyes. My laptop is down with fever lately and i think i need to bring it to the Acer Clinic or something.
Lottie's coming to my hse tmr at 7am to borrow my laptop, to do some of her stuff.
Her laptop batterycan no longer be used u see.

My club is gonna have an official launch at Ang Mo Kio Hub. And im so not ready for the makeup course exams. Oh-noes.

Well, I have some stuff to do now.
Bubye.

I must.

2008-06-06T14:38:00.003+08:00

.

I was a photographer for three days.
Some were even jealous that i could loan a Canon 400D DSLR camera from school.
ehehehhe. Even a salesman from a camera shop thought it was mine.
Wah..How can. Its so expensive. I'll get it when i have more money.

But for now, I'll just loan from the school.
Aahaha..
Benefits of being in a media course.

Sometimes when I think to myself, I realize that I'm very blessed. Its no use wasting tears on hopes of a relationship. We measure how much a person loves us by how much they're wiling to do or sacrifice for us, or how much they care. We do so much just to please them, so that they will always love us still.

*But Allah's love for us can never be measured and we don't have to worry, cause that love will never end.

I've not been consistent in my prayers, I need to improve. I must.

video habit

2008-05-31T20:06:00.002+08:00

I have this bad habit of watching videos. I can watch till its 3am. And when i go to slp, i'll feel guilty abt it coz i know i will be late for school. Ahaha..
But i just can't shake off this bad habit, thus i have decided that i will STAY AWAY from my laptop at night. Or no. I mean i'll NOT visit the video websites when the time is around 8pm or later.

K, hope that would work. Eventually.
The recent videos i've just watched are :
Taiwan Drama - It Started With a Kiss Season 1 and 2
Japanese Drama - Absolute Boyfriend (is still an ongoing drama)
Chinese Movie - Ah Long Pte. Ltd.
Indonesian Drama - Jelita
Korean Drama - My Wife Is a Gangster 1 & 2 (I'm not sure if this is korean, i tink so. I watched it after watching Ah Long Pte Ltd, and i suddenly feel like watching more of those kind of pretty, tough, fighter & strong women being in a marriage..ahaha.)

There you have it. Im buzy.
Ya rite.
Busy watching all this videos. ahahaha..There's more, i tink. But i don't remember all the names now. I'm the type where if i've just finished watching something, i'll randomly click at the nearby tags or links and see whether there's anymore interesting vids to watch.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I've been observing how you love a person u chose.
And only recently i realised you treat me the same as the rest.
The way you talk, the way you please them, the way you are.
Well then, there's no surprise that others may fall for you too.
Haha..Just like how i did. Coz I thought i was special than them.
Silly me.

I've been silent, i hope you'll miss me.

a whole lot of things happend

2008-05-23T22:01:00.002+08:00

For the past 2 weeks, this is roughly what happened:

1. I had a MAC Committee Meeting. I'm in charge of maintaining the blog, or whatever IT stuff, etc. and the handling of the makeup cosmetics for the club.

2. I had a field trip(outdoor photo shoot), we had to do some panoramic shots. We did it around the esplanade, boat quay area,on a PUBLIC holiday. Yes, i had a compulsory class field trip on a HOLIDAY. How fun was that huh. Okla, i have to admit, it gradually became interesting as its not something i have ever did when taking photographs. It was a good technique, but at the end i got so tired my mood went soo crappy.

3. I did a flash banner for the Beijing Olympics 2008 that's due today. Since its being advertised at xin.sg, the text for my banner are in Chinese. It was really fun doing it. ehehe

4. One of my course module, called Communication Skills had a mock up job interview. Then, it happened today. I applied for a job as a Graphic Designer. Since i did some freelance work during the holidays, its a good thing that i can use it in my portfolio for the interview. And I was the first person to be interviewed. Overall, i think i did okay, just..average.

5. Someone confessed something that kinda affected me for awhile. But i have no right to interfere, since I'm not related. That's how i think the way it is. But i'm ok now. Alhamdulillah.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I

stupid, yes. me.

2008-05-12T00:38:00.002+08:00

I just feel so stupid.
So....haiz..
i don't know what else to say.

I've been busy, i know, with all the activites i have to go to here and there.
There's school, then there's tuition, also club stuff and night class.

With such a tight schedule, ok, i get it.
But when i have the free time, I do things that waste my time!!

Like, chatting. Watching vidoes. etc.
And i know very well that an assignment is due soon.
But still!
What did i do?
I depended on tomorrow. Yes, it has always been the same reason.
again and again and again and again.

I seriously feel so mek now.
I just realised theres a lot to do for an assignment that is due tomorrow.
And i am so not ready!

OH- -NOOESSS...

matahariku

2008-05-04T21:51:00.005+08:00

Tertutup Sudah Pintu, Pintu Hatiku

Yang Pernah Dibuka Waktu Hanya Untukmu

Kini Kau Pergi Dari Hidupku

Kuharus Relakanmu Walau Aku Tak Mau

Reff 1 :

Berjuta Warna Pelangi Di Dalam Hati

Sejenak Luluh Bergeming Menjauh Pergi

Tak Ada Lagi Cahaya Suci

Semua Nada Beranjak Aku Terdiam Sepi

Reff 2 :

Dengarlah Matahariku, Suara Tangisanku

Kubersedih Karna Panah Cinta Menusuk Jantungku

Ucapkan Matahariku Puisi Tentang Hidupku

Tentangku Yang Tak Mampu Menaklukkan Waktu

Back To Reff 1

Back To Reff 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well, I know i've not been updating as usual. And i didn't someone i've been contacting with has been waiting for me to update. So, feeling kinda touched i decided to update. Haha. It's about time anyways..

The video i posted, is a song by Agnes Monica, title: matahariku.

I'm just too in love with the song. Not because of the meaning of it, well part of the reason actually, but also coz of the use of words for the lyrics. Its really amazing to me and the song keeps playing in my head.

Also, because Agnes is acting in this new Indonesian Drama called 'Jelita' and I've started watching it, on youtube(my favourite website..ahaha). So that song is like the theme song for that drama.

U like Agnes? Ure a fan? Since when?

I started to like her when i first heard the song 'Bilang Saja'. I love to hear her sing live. Even till now. Then there was her drama 'Pernikahan Dini' but I didn't really watched it except for advertisements. Then i watchd 'Kawin Muda' and there was where i started being a fan of her acting too.

Enough of Agnes. Now is about me. Ive been busy. Seriously..busy.

I gotta so some school work now. So maybe tmr i explain how busy i am?

ahaha..

bubyes

i love this song

2008-04-20T23:57:00.004+08:00

Bidadari

Ketika hilang segala yang nyala
Kau hadir dengan pelita hati
Simpuhmu melangkah kesopanan
Tiada bicara dapat dilafazkan

Pulangku kau sambut dengan senyuman
Pemergianku didoakan kemuliaan
Kau sulam kasih sayang ini
Dengan kemesraan

Walau kesederhanaan
Yang mampu kuhulurkan
Kau tadah penuh keredhaan
Limpah syukurmu kususun rapi
Agar dirimu dapat kuhargai
Sebagai bidadari

Kau permaisuri hati
Kau permata suci
Akan tatahkan hatimu
Dengan sinar iman
Akan kuhiasi jiwamu
Dengan kewajipan
Tanda mensyukuri anugerah Tuhan
Serta anak yang menjadi penawar

Dirimu anugerah Tuhan
Amanah buat insan beriman
Rusuk kiriku
Dicantumkan
Agar dapat kita bergandingan

By: Rabbani

I apologize coz its not in English. Will try to translate..hehe..that is if i got the mood to..coz I'm only good at translating simple Malay. This is kinda poetic, so its a bit of a challenge, if i wanna translate it and still maintain the sweetness and flow of the poem/song.

I...

2008-04-17T23:52:00.002+08:00

I...

...am currently having quite a busy schedule.
...refuse to buy a textbook that will only be used for one semester.
...think the lecturer will eventually ask us to buy though.
...have not update this blog for a almost a week.
...decided to update it now then.
...have three roles to play now.
...need to be a leader, teacher and not forgetting I'm still a student.
...am happy that I learn a lot from ngaji (religious night class).
...am glad to have met some old secondary school friends and those whom I've not met since last year.

...am currently being bullied and teased of liking a certain guy.
...do get irritated but I know that person is just teasing all the time.
...am older then him so I don't think its possible.
...like to eat plain toast bread, it will be a rare moment if i were to eat it with kaya, so stop asking.
...miss Lottie's hugs.

...am badly craving for famous amos cookiess....
...shall stop here, bath and sleep now.

when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out

2008-04-09T14:15:00.007+08:00

Lately I've been surfing the net, watching dramas, videos on youtube. I have to admit its one of my favourite time-wasters. Coz most of the videos I've seen before. ahahaha..But I'm still doing it.

Teaching has been going smoothly. Though, the thought of the mid-yr exams coming soon makes me feel...
OH-NOessss..
Lesser time left and I really badly wanna make some improvements to his grades.

While, school for ME is finally starting next week. WOO..Back to school. Will be bz-bz-bz. And I will certainly miss the holidays. All over again.

I found this very amazing story from iluvislam.com:

Why do we read Quran, even if we can't
understand a single Arabic word?
www.iLuvislam.com
sent by: anak soleh

An old man lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur'an. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, 'Grandpa! I try to read the Qur'an just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?'
The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, 'Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.'

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, 'You'll have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would Leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, 'See Grandpa, it's useless!' 'So you think it is useless?' The old man said, 'Look at the basket.'

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

'Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.'

bad habit

2008-04-04T02:03:00.001+08:00

I have been recoding the Sp Makeup-Artiste Club (SP MAC) Blog. Also, did a update about the recent event that just happened. I'm doing two work at the same time. Coz I'm listening to a lecture by Ustaz Aqil Hayy. He's seriously funny, yet religious. & he even used to be a rock singer seh. Fuiyoo..

I'm going out with the girls. Later at 12.30. Walk around vivoCity. I don't have much money$$. So I don't think I can do much shopping, except for buying food. haha..

Its already 2a.m. And I'm not sleeping. This is a bad habit I can't get rid. Coz I don't always sleep late. But I still do it from time to time. Its not just for a few weeks, it has been months! And I think it really has to stop. Because I know the effect it does to my body. However, its not necessary for you to know. (Unless ur a really close friend or live under the same roof as me).

I'm hungry, soo.. I decided to eat 2 bananas. Okla. Don't feel soo hungry anymore now.

Ok, off to lalaland. Bu-bye.

ingin ku menjadi wanita acuan Al-Quran

2008-04-01T17:28:00.004+08:00

Wanita Acuan Al-Quran

Wanita acuan Al-Quran ialah seseorang wanita yang beriman,

yang hatinya disaluti rasa taqwa kepada Allah SWT.
Yang sentiasa haus dengan ilmu.
Yang sentiasa dahaga dengan pahala.
Yang solatnya adalah maruah dirinya.
Yang tidak pernah takut berkata benar.

Wanita acuan Al-Quran ialah wanita menjaga tutur katanya.
Yang tidak pernah bermegah dengan ilmu yang dimilikinya.
Yang tidak pernah bermegah dengan harta dunia yang dicarinya.
Yang sentiasa berbuat kebaikan kerana sifatnya yang pelindung.
Yang mempunyai ramai kawan dan tidak mempunyai ramai musuh.

Wanita acuan Al-Quran ialah wanita yang menghormati ibubapanya.
Yang sentiasa berbakti kepada ibubapanya.
Yang bakal membahagiakan kehormanian rumahtangga.
Yang akan mendidik anak-anak dan membantu suami mendalami agama Islam.
Yang auratnya dikhaskan buat suami tercinta.
Yang mengamalkan cara hidup penuh kesederhanaan.
Kerana dunia baginya adalah rumah sementara menunggu akhirat.

Wanita acuan Al-Quran sentiasa bersedia untuk agamanya.
Yang hidup di bawah naungan Al-Quran & mencontohi sifat Rasulullah SAW,
serta wanita sufi yang digariskan dalam kalamullah.
Yang boleh diajak berbincang dan berbicara.
Yang sujudnya penuh kesyukuran dengan rahmat Allah ke atas-Nya.

Wanita acuan Al-Quran tidak pernah membazirkan masa.
Matanya kepenatan kerana kuat membaca.
Yang suaranya lesu kerana kuat mengaji dan berzikir.
Yang tidurnya lena dengan cahaya keimanan.
Bangun subuhnya penuh kecerdasan,
kerana sehari lagi usianya bertambah penuh kematangan.

Wanita acuan Al-Quran sentiasa mengingati mati.
Yang baginya hidup di dunia adalah ladang di akhirat.
Yang mana buah kehidupan itu perlu dibajai dan dijaga.
Meneruskan perjuangan Islam sebelum hari kemudian bersama lelaki.

Wanita acuan Al-Quran ialah wanita yang tidak terpesona,
dengan buaian dunia kerana dia mengimpikan syurga.
Di disitulah rumah impiannya.
Bersama lelaki acuan Al-Quran ganjaran Allah SWT.
Semoga diri ini menjadi wanita acuan Al-Quran.
AMIN...

I'm gonna keep walkin' though it may seem far

2008-03-27T22:02:00.002+08:00

This pain that I feel.
I will overcome.
I know somewhere deep down inside.
It's the pain that makes us strong.

I could curse.
I could shout.
Take the easy way out.
I'll forgive you some how.

I'm gonna keep walkin' though it may seem far.
I'm gonna keep prayin' when life gets too hard.
Not gonna let this bring me down.
I'll take the high road.

I'm gonna keep climbin' 'till I see the top.
I'm gonna keep tryin' though I may get lost.
Not gonna let this bring me down.
I'll take the high road.

fearing of making the same mistake

2008-03-27T08:35:00.004+08:00

I feel so nervous,
When I think of yesterday.

How could I let things,
Get to me so bad?
How did I even let things get to me?

I wanted to be so perfect you see,
I wanted to be so perfect .

- - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Some already know but maybe to those who don't.
In my previous post, the girl i was talking about is me.
It was like i was debating against myself.

Maybe this is how people feel when they have to deal with rejection.
Maybe this is why there are some people out there who don't dare to fall in love again.
I never understood why.
I never understood why they would just take it for granted that there wouldn't be something better for them.

But now I understand. Now I know.
I made a mistake.
And now I'm in that same position as those people.
I worry I won't be able to confess to any other guy the next time.
Fearing of making that same mistake.
But maybe I'm wrong.
I don't know.
I think I just need time. I am still a girl.
A girl tends to be sensitive and emotional about this kinda issues.

all she needs is your guidance, especially now

2008-03-26T10:39:00.002+08:00

Imagine this conversation I had with a girl I know very well-

She was smiling.
Me : "So what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

Girl: "I have very good news. Alhamduillah, a good friend I know of is going to be with a good man."

Me: "Oh, but how did you know? Did they tell you?"

Girl: "No. I found out about it on my own. By gathering little evidences here and there. Maybe it was wrong of me to do that. But everything seemed to fit in, just like a puzzle."

Me: "But I thought you also have found a man for yourself?"

Girl :"Oh, about that. It seems he had another girl already in mind. I discovered."

Me: "But is it really ok with you? You know, you have been doing the Solat Istikharah and you was so sure of yourself that he was the one. I thought it was what you really wanted?"

Girl: "You know me well. And I can never fool you because then it may seem as if I'm lying to myself. I admit that it hurts. Its very painful. All this while, I thought I was strong. But it seems that I'm wrong. I hope God forgives me."

Me: "Does he know that you know? About the girl, how did you know about her?"

Girl: "I told him I know. I told him that its not his fault that he wasn't able to tell me. No matter how I want it to be my way, I know I should put myself in his shoes. He was in a dilemma. That girl, is someone I know. She is a friend. Like i said, i discovered. Everything seemed to be pointing to the same direction."

Me: "But how can he do this to you?! You are hurt and you are just going to let this go? You have all the right to remain angry at him. Since you were the last to know."

Girl: "No, I didn't wish to tell him straight about how I was feeling, even now. I told him using the nicest words possible. I don't plan to tell my friend about how I feel either. I don't want to make them worried.
There are a couple of reasons why. Firstly, I was interfering them who were going to build a family. Secondly, I had already said to myself, if he is not for me, then maybe God has something better. Thirdly, I should not be selfish and put myself in his shoes. Lastly, I don't want to steal, take away something so precious from that girl, my friend. I've seen her change for the better, maybe this is her reward."

Me: "But you changed too. Didn't you? You've repented and you still are."

Girl: "Yes, but maybe that reward was in a form of something else. I got that tuition job didn't I? That came to me unexpectedly. Alhamdulillah, I still remember what he taught me. To accept whatever's given. That's why I was attracted to him, he was helping me indirectly."

Me: "So what are you going to do now? I don't trust you if you say that you're happy, u know."

Girl: "Well then you have to. Because what I'm going to do next is to pray for their happiness. Can't you see? This is my test from God. No matter how much it hurts, I have to accept it."

Me : "And so you have to be patient? Well yes, I agree. But how are you going to face them now? Him and your friend?"

Girl : "It would be uneasy at first, of course. And the way we're going to interact might be different, I don't know. But it feels better now that I know the truth. Alhamdulillah, God revealed it to me before it would get any worse. Still, I just wished he should have told me earlier. Maybe I could have handled it even better."

Me : "I just want to let you know that I am already happy for you now. Because you were trying your best to handle this situation. It makes me even proud to know that you're even more focused to please Allah."

We ended the conversation with silence because I know she needed time on her own, just thinking to herself. Convincing that what happened is just fate.
I watched her gazing out the window, smiling.
It was still that same smile earlier, but this time it was accompanied with tears.

Oh Allah, no matter how much she smiles infront of others, I know she's crying inside.
She is still weak in her iman and all she needs is your guidance, especially now.
I know she is trying her best.
Please help her, make her stronger.
I'm confident she will be able to overcome this.
Insya-Allah...

reassurance

2008-03-26T00:35:00.003+08:00

It feels very painful to kind of discover that the person you wanna be with might be with someone you know. You don’t know if its true yet you wait to be told or discover the whole truth on your own. Little by little it feels like that is the way it is, by piecing up little evidences. You tell no one else, except yourself. But a part of you holds back, telling you not to believe it. But a part of you just needs proof or an explanation before deciding whether its correct.

And no matter how hard you try to console yourself, you know you're just running away. Running away to accept the facts. But if its not true, then you'll feel relief. Cause all you need is the reassurance from that someone you want to be with.
However, what if you discover or the truth is told a little too late. Then, you're not sure whether that same little heart can take it.

When all this while you keep telling yourself you're gonna be strong.
Yet, you're wrong.

*But Allah will be there

Didn't Realise How Busy This Week Is Gonna Be

2008-03-24T23:49:00.003+08:00

I spent almost 3 days trying organising my iTunes library. I had approximately 1400 songs. Renaming and finding the artwork. Other than that I was also downloading some new tracks, lectures and videos, thus the system kept lagging behind. Phew. Needed loads of patience.

But Alhamdulillah, now its done so i feel better.

I have kind of a lot of activities to do this week. Return library books, need to go to school for some collection of cd i reserved, attend the MAC event, hang out with the girls, go ngaji (night religious class), meet Charlotte and Shimma for Shimma's b'day, go out with my cousin and work.

Its about 2-3 weeks left before school starts. Finally. It gets kinda boring when you keep staying at home all the time. But believe me, when it starts I'll start to miss the holidays. ahaha..
Typical me.

I was watching this video by UmmahFilms from youtube, i seriously like his videos, the guy's name is Baba Ali, very funny yet very useful reminders.

Some words that he said made me think again, and I hope others who read might think about it too:

"...The truly pious are the ones who see the best in everyone, while they consider themselves the worse. Because when you consider yourself the worse, then you can't feel any superior than anyone. Always remember that no matter how successful we become, we will still have faults like everyone else. And there's always room for improvement..."

I believe that what he says is very true. I admit that there are times that I look down upon people who doesn't seem to be good or just gossip too much. Or, their appearance makes me think that they're not the type who would be a good person to talk to. You know like those people who have tattoos or piercings here and there or hair dyed other than black.

When I used to work at Balithai Restaurant, there used to be this girl who was about 2 years older than me. She had a nose stud and her hair had streaks of orange. The first look made me think she was just another typical minah, a girl who might probably doesn't care about her future. Doesn't even smile and was always talking to the guys there.

But. I was wrong. When we chatted for a while, I realized she was just another girl-next-door. Her appearance may be wild, but she told me honestly that she doesn't go clubbing, she doesn't drink and she doesn't have a tattoo. She said she dropped out of secondary school to help her family, since she was the oldest, because she had a lot of siblings (I don't remember how many).

She admits that people did ask her along, to go clubbing and stuff but she always rejected. Her reason was? "I don't like to be involved in that kind of activities that would just waste my time and that I would regret eventually." She continues by saying that she has been thinking of repenting, changing her appearance and she has even signed up for religious night classes. She's moving at a slow pace but hopefully she will repent fully.

In my heart, I was like woah.. So much for thinking that she was just another typical minah.

In conclusion, I think from now on I should not judge a person before I get to know them. No matter what they look like or how they treat me or others. Also, to stay away from being arrogant, I should see the best in everyone.

Hope that whoever reads this may benefit from it.

still waiting

2008-03-22T14:28:00.004+08:00

I finally went to visit the doctor yesterday before my skin problem(Eczema) becomes wild all over again. Surprisingly, when i went over to my grandma's place, some of my relatives were having a small birthday party. Ahahaha..We didn't have any presents, since ya, we didn't know.

But the cake was really delicious. Chocolate. Yummy..

My mind and feelings has been pretty much occupied with something that i can't really tell in full details here. Thus, it explains the reason why my previous post seemed to be kinda..emotional. I have come to a part of my life where I have to decide my plans for my future.

This comes from a part of an article online:
"We control our actions, but not our destination. We command our intentions, but not our fate. But that's what ALLAH wants for us: good actions accompanied with noble intention - the secret recipe that carried the master-key to success in this temporal life, and the eternal abode."

So basically, since the day that I made a confession, I've been putting all my trust in God, and believing that God knows whats best for me. Doing the Solat Istikharah, i really wish that HE will give me the patience and strength when i receive the signs or the answer. Its either a yes or a no. And both has their own disadvantages and advantages.

I want to take care of you because I know you can take care of me to be closer to God.
I know its complicated and sometimes I wonder if its all just gonna be a mistake.
However, I see my future with you and after that day when I confessed, I suddenly felt motivated to do Solat Sunat either before or after the Fardhu prayers.

I can only plan while God decides.
If all goes well, Insya-Allah, i'll be with you. Forever.

a note to Allah

2008-03-20T14:49:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah..
Jika dia jodohku, kau permudahkanlah.
Dan jika bukan, kau jauhkanlah dia dariku.

Dan jika perasaan ini, menyayanginya keranamu, kau bantulah kami.
Dan jika ianya kerana nafsu semata, kau jauhkanlah ia dari kami.

Aku akan menyintainya kerana agama yang ada padanya,
jika dia hilangkan agama dalam dirinya,
justeru, hilanglah cintaku padanya.

MAC stuff

2008-03-19T18:58:00.010+08:00

I think i'm going to miss my club's booth since the first-yrs enrolment period is over. (finally..)

Our booth is just next to the exit door.
FYI, i did that sign-frame of the club's name.
hehehe

Here is (from left) Sock Hoon and Amalina. The two sleepy ladies on that day.

Actually, i also became sleepy later on.
See the black cloth behind them?
There's actually a small area hidden behind it
And there were two chairs.
So i slept inside there.

A not so good-looking picture taken since Sock Hoon's nose peeking at the side.
I actually just wanted to show the what the room was like.

Despite having a presentable booth at the front,
this is actually what it looks like from behind.

Sweet wrappers and a hanging tape on a table.

I took this picture of Sock Hoon behind the black cloth.
And she actually likes this picture very much.
I only like the look of the coloured lights though.

With the black cloth raised.

Next club event: Need to do makeup for a Coprate shoot in school.
Wow. Its gonna be my first time..

just take a moment; reflect

2008-03-17T22:53:00.002+08:00

I found this article very meaningful: http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=934

Which was why i used part of it in my intro to the blog. Coz i want to remind myself, and others who may have forgotten.

But this sentence really hit me -
Every second of our day is either utilized or wasted, and it's a chunk of our lives ostracized.

It made me reflect on what i've been doing. Yes, i do pray, but the effort is not enough. The concentration is not really there. And sometimes i feel as if im one of the worse people alive. Because, i get lazy too easily, i know the benefits of going the extra mile to perfect my prayers, my iman, but i always say later or..one day i'll do it.

And that one day doesn't seem to be getting any nearer. And i feel i've just wasted a day, yet again. I remember God from time to time, but i don't think thats enough. Seriously, i need to wake up and start working hard. Be it for this world or hereafter.

My Weekends Wasn't As Boring As i Thought It Would

2008-03-17T00:18:00.005+08:00

My weekends started with meeting up with my malay girlfriends, there was Ain, Syafiqah and Shimma among the normal six of us. Other than that, i get to meet some old secondary schoolmates as they were schooling in M.I too. Same as Shimma and Syaf.

It was a pleasant period for me coz i felt as if i do belong somewhere when i wasn't really heart-to-heart close to them back then, during the secondary school days. Desert at delifrance was really yummy and what made it even better was that Ain decided to pay for all of us. Hehe. But seriously, it was really nice of her.

We talked about a lot of stuff, especially on a particular topic. But i don't feel as if i have the right to actually say anything here, so..i'l just let it be. Coz i know and i believe that everything happens for a reason. So i just hope for the best.

That night, Shimma and I went to Assyakirin Mosque to stay overnight there. My ustaz mentioned about a Qiyam that was gonna happen the following early morning, he encouraged to go so i felt i should. Coz lately for the past weeks, i did felt that i was missing something. Then i realised, i missed going to the mosque. The last time I went was, Ramadhan last year. That was soo long ago to me. So I felt that it was just the right timing to go.

Even thought we slept late that night, I felt happy to be there. To be able to encourage another friend to go, also we talked a lot. But we never really talked about guys or relationships. We were deep in discussion about religious matters, because I've been reading this book about how to concentrate during prayer and I was really excited to share it with her. Other than that, we also spoke about a particular topic that we girls had discussed earlier that day.

It may sound boring to some, but i feel thankful that i do have friends who are willing to meet each other even though i wasn't really a great friend back then.

time flies by fast

2008-03-07T22:36:00.006+08:00

Time really flies by fast huh. Previously, i just started work in the library, i mean like halfway. But now, today, was the last day of work. Am i sad? Not really. But of course visiting the main library wouldn't be the same again, since it would definitely bring back memories of the work.

Reclassing, rearranging and reshelving the books. There were those really really old books, majorly dusty definitely.I feel thankful that i won't have to face them again. Phew!
The last few days of work, Kathy and I kept borrowing and returning music Cds, exchanging songs through thumbdrive, borrowing almost up to 10 books! (Especially me actually)

Well it is the library, what do you expect, we could find the best books and reserved it for ourselves then borrow it later. Muahahaha.. Same goes to the music Cd's. The library staff even gave us the chance to book whichever music Cd that they recently bought! All i can remember is that booked recent albums of Britney, Leona Lewis and Sugababes.

To end of this post i would like to share some pics of working there:

Here is Kathy being who sits beside me during work.

Amalina is just beside her on the right,nearby.

Some of the books were just so dusty, we were given those to wear since a lot of people were sneezing non-stop. But of course, we didn't use it all the time. Since there were of course other normal and newer books to do.

Well i have some other pictures, but i don't plan to share all since i feel kinda lazy now to continue. Sleepy.. To be exact.

Well. That's all..

Im sleepy now. Excuse me

2008-02-18T23:13:00.003+08:00

So i hear sounds.
Of complains.
That somebody has not been updating.
And that somebody is obviously me.

Update?

K so i've finally settled that OOPM exam.
And i got lucky and now i'm working in the library.
So ure a librarian now??

Not really...
I'm a 'Student Helper', as said in the document they gave us.
We help to relabel the books, reorganise, reshelve.
Easy money, seriously.
$5 per hour.
& i get to go for prayers! yeay..

Three words to describe the work:
Easy. Unexciting. Dusty.

And i'm off to sleep now, working tomorrow again.

ResurrectinG my Dead Blog

2008-01-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

- - - - - - - -- - - - - -- - - - - - -

--------- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

-- - - - (ignore this) - - - - - - *

*Some random stuff - - - -

35 days...dead.
36th day...resurrection.

That's the state of my blog.

I know it has been ages. And i hear people complaining.
Haiyooz..hahaha

I wanted to update on the last day of 2007, but didn't know what to type.
Decided to do the same on 1st Jan, was too lazy.

So here it is, the post that has been delayed and delayed.
Get ready, coz this is gonna be a long one, really.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Assignments..MEK
I have a total of 7 assignments to hand in by this coming 2 weeks.
Can u believe it?!
Or course, u have to.
And i have only completed one today,
which was...just now..very very just just now..

Its an animation.
And for mine? I did a strawberry, doing ballet.
Title: Strawballerina (seriously, actually it sounds like a ballerina made of straw)
Duration: 28 sec (short hah?!, but i tell u, the modelling, texturing and animating, not forgetting..RENDERING..so ya, the process took abt a few days)

The rest of the assignments?
OOPM (programming) - i have to do a toilet game (don't ask me why, thats how it is)
STSB (storytelling & storyboard) - this is where i have to like DRAW out storyboard frames for a story. which gonna take me hourse, obviously..
(just imagine, u watch a video, then u're asked to DRAW out EACH single main scene, so ya, that's what stsb is all about, for u guys who may not understand it or are just too lazy to google it)

etc etc. Telling u my assignments might either scare u or bore u right now. So ya, i'll stop.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Makeup Artist Club..Yeay!
I've completed all 5 training sessions.
And it was really fun!
Learned a lot, the correct techniques and all.
And that's just not it.
They're giving us a free facial lesson since they are really concerned that we take care of our skin. (it seems like our lovely president, Ericia wanted us to learn coz the instructor said our skin are not healthy..boo-hoo)

The instructor is soo like my mum..keep nagging.." u girls hah, still so young, must take care of skin hor!" ..."toner put more, ur skin needs to be moisturised"..."i know u all got a lot or projects la, asignments, then sleep late, stress, but ur skin is very precious!"

i can't wait for the facial lesson nxt saturday! have to go down to clarke quay,to their place.
(usually they come to our school)

And i sooo love their products. Can't really purchase at ur normal shopping centres though.
Coz..have u ever really heard of Sonya products? Majority of my friends say no.

Oh-god..here i am..talking about make-up. I'm being such a girly girl..
ahahaha..
Ok, watevr.

SO ya,their products are ALL aloe-vera based and they only use natural ingredients.
My foundation and powder blended on my face so well, evn Eliza (she can spot people wearing makeup) couldn't see...woo-ho-ho-ho..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

On the last day of 2007. Monday.

Most people might be slacking at home.

Some rushing for assignments.

Some sleeping.

What did i do?

I went to school.

Don't worry, i didn't go thinking there were lessons.

I had to meet Eliza to do our Video project.

We took some photos.

Wanna c?

(Try imagining it la ok)

ahahaha..will post the pics maybe..soon..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This SUNDAY.

IS...

SOmeone's....

BIRTHDAY!

My beloved Kathy-kat, the friend who keeps saying want to long pia, wants to die la, sian la,also, crazy over handsome, cute and beautiful 1.5k dolls.

(not forgetting, she always drink milk tea bubble tea together with me all the time, while we sit on the seats at the basement of Jurong Point and observe the human beings passing by)

She keeps saying to contribute to her doll fund. SO..rich people out there, pls consider donating some money to my friend here who is very passionate about the dolls.

There, kathy, i advertise for u here.

ehehehe (*gives the hawaian dance msn emoticon*)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Missing

No, its not about my missing items, neither is it about missing people.

I'm just missing some friends.

To name a few: Shimma, Charlotte, Bibi, my close girlfriends in JWSS, my classmates from JWSS and Millenia Institute.

Recently, i saw two girls holding hands while i was on the way to school.

They were walking infront of me.

Suddenly, they reminded me of Charlotte.

How we used to go out with each other, cuddly and holding hands.

I know it may sound 'ew' to some of u, but that's how some girls are.

Don't get we wrong, we are not lesbians la.

Girls can get along quite fast.

Also, they can love their close girlfriends very easily.

So ya, i was beginning to miss being hugged by a loved girlfriend.

And hear a dear girlfriend's sarcasm, that never fails to make me laugh.

Wah..really miss those times.

Enough of emoing..

ahahaha

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The bloggie SKIN

I've been thinking of changing my blogskin.

Yes, yet..again..

I just can't seem to stick to one for long hah?

Aiyoooz..

Maybe that's the reason why i don't update?

Coz i'm bored of the blogskin design...hmmm...i wonder..might be...

BUT!

This time, i'm considering of designing my own one.

MAybe,hopefully..

That by doing an original one, something that's mine, i would stick to it?

I'll work on it around the start of holidays, maybe?

Coz i'm going on a job-hunt also..

woo-ho-ho-ho..(kathy uses this laughter on msn)

Will talk more on that.

When?

soon...

*An old flame returned.

Shall resist the temptation.

Changes

2007-12-18T09:34:00.000+08:00

I almost wanted to change my blogskin just now. AGAIN.

I just can't seem to stick to one. The thing is, i get bored very easily.
When the design just doesn't seems to pleases me. I'm still waiting for the day where i can finally design my own blogskin. That day doesn't seem to be anywhere near for now, since..

I have assignments to do!!

I had my first makeup training yesterday. It was really very interesting. The trainer, named Agnes Lee, was like around my mom's age? ahaha..early forties.

And she wanted us to call her by the name. Woo-hoo. She admits she's rather vain in her appearance. And rather die beautifully. AHAHAA..she very funny lah.

Anyways..I'm considering of changing my option from 3D to do IA (interactive applications.)
From the start, i've always decided that i wanna join IA. But don't know for some reason, during the selection i went to choose 3D instead.
Me, being my usual self, can't make up my mind fast and make a final decision.
I fail in that department.

I don't know if i have mentioned this, but i've cut my hair short. Real short than the previous one. But i don't care if it looks funny, coz i like it!
Brings back memories when i was younger where i used to have short hair ALL the time.

got to go for now, have an extra lecture i'm attending later at 1pm.

BLog suicide

2007-12-12T21:06:00.001+08:00

Today :

Do you know this girl?

This is a random picture that Eliza took during Video class. Class was over, we were just digitizing our last tape.

Tuesday:

We have a wall mirror in the drawing studio(just like a dance studio actually)

During a normal day in DRAW class, Eliza (the extreme left) decided to take a group picture. With clean hands from the stains of the charcoal sticks we used, we took a pic in like.. the MIDDLE of the class..haha
And seriously, all the guys were like walking around. Some making a fool of themselves, play-fighting..etc.. And there we were taking a picture.

During those random moments

hahahaha

Due to my lack of skill in time management, i have never made any time, in other words, dedicate fully to this blog. Some update like almost all the time. Everydaay, weekly.

Me?

When i have the mood to do so, when i feel like it.

ahahah..

However, there are times where i have a funny story to tell in my blog.

But when i wanna post it, i don't know what i should type.

Or, i just totally forget about blogging.

And most of the time, i feel useless to have this blog.

i think it is time to ask the question......jeng..jeng...jeng..

(suspense music plays)

Should i really just delete this blog?
I dont know..

_______________________________
Hmm..Current state of my life right now?

3 words.

...

....

...

Rushing with Assignments.

Filming, 3d animation scene, programming, photoshoot assignment, draw assignment, exms coming soon too. ( i only have 1 written test paper though..ahaha)

See..I have even decided to take a break from work. Luckily my manager was understanding!

But not to worry!

It's all not just work, and no play!

i have some things im excited for and looking forward to during my term break next two weeks:

- My Makeup Artist Club Training

- Picnic With the Glamour Girls (Lottie-Shim)

- No work!

- Maybe go out with the girls? (My close girl-buddies in class)

i had forgotten all about it

2007-11-27T10:31:00.000+08:00

My mum was talking to me yesterday about the problem with my skin.
At fist it was ok, but now the itch is starting up again.
I found out online that, its not possible to completely cure it for now.
The doctor says its in me, most probably due to heredity,
so all i have to do is to just control it.
Its called Eczema.

"Eczema is a general term encompassing various inflamed skin conditions. One of the most common forms of eczema is atopic dermatitis (or "atopic eczema"). "

What does eczema look and feel like?

"Although eczema may look different from person to person, it is most often characterized by dry, red, extremely itchy patches on the skin. Eczema is sometimes referred to as "the itch that rashes," since the itch, when scratched, results in the appearance of the rash."

Who gets eczema?

"Eczema occurs in both children and adults, but usually appears during infancy. Although there is no known cause for the disease, it often affects people with a family history of allergies.
Those who are genetically predisposed and then exposed to environmental triggers may develop eczema."

Then suddenly, my mum mentions about the fact that since i was born i already had
Thalassemia minor. Its not a very serious thing, since mine is only a minor.

"Thalassemia Minor or Thalassemia Trait.
In this condition, the lack of beta protein is not great enough to cause problems in the normal functioning of the hemoglobin. A person with this condition simply carries the genetic trait for thalassemia and will usually experience no health problems other than a possible mild anemia. As in mild alpha thalassemia, physicians often mistake the small red blood cells of the person with beta thalassemia minor as a sign of iron-deficiency anemia and incorrectly prescribe iron supplements."

And she also mentioned that when i get married, my husband to be would need to go for a blood test. That was when i realised i had forgotten ALL about it. haha..wonder what could have happened if my mum didn't remind me beforehand..

"Hematologists have identified the marriage of two Thalassemia minor people as the major cause of the spread of the illness as their newborn in most of the cases was found to be a patient of Thalassemia major. "

"Thalassemia Major or Cooley's Anemia.
This is the most severe form of beta thalassemia in which the complete lack of beta protein in the hemoglobin causes a life-threatening anemia that requires regular blood transfusions and extensive ongoing medical care. These extensive, lifelong blood transfusions lead to iron-overload which must be treated with chelation therapy to prevent early death from organ failure."

Thus, i can't marry a thalassemia minor man.ahahaha..
Eczema and thalassemia minor.
Pls dont think im telling u all this to ask for sympathy.
Since this is how it is, i will just accept it.
I just realised i have such an interesting life.
woo-hoo..

One of those random moments

2007-11-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

I just wanna stop gossiping.
I just wanna improve my grades.
I wanna get a better GPA.
I'm tired of working.

I have a lot of sins.
I have a lot of bad habits that i can't erase permanently yet.
I hope God forgives me.
I just wanna go to heaven.

I hope to fall in love.
With a man God chose for me.
And than get married.

I know i may sound crazy.
But all this are important to me.

My Efforts

2007-11-14T22:57:00.001+08:00

I drew this during DRAW class yesterday!
Ha-ha. I'm not really used to draw this kind of stuff, had to use charcoal sticks by the way.
I guess my DnT drawing skills did helped. Since i had make it look 3D, and..i like to do shading..
The bottle looks kinda funny though, but never mind.

My favourite part of the drawing:

This is my living room scene for my 3D assignment. I took a picture of it in different angles.

Mad Week is over..is it?

2007-11-12T17:27:00.000+08:00

K, i've decided to change my email to gmail.
HOWEVER, for don't know WAT reason, msn don't allow me to use @gmail to log in to msn.
I know about applying for the passport, done that.
So, one solution was to use @googlemail when logging in to msn instead.

Y d change?
Coz i have so many random unknown contacts or people whom i never evn talk to online.
And my email contacts and the emails i have in my hotmail account is soooo messy!!
Thus i feel the need to do some cleaning up in my msn stuff and email matters. I have like invites to join multiply la, zebo la, etc. so annoying..

I have specially handpicked those few lucky contacts whom i would want to talk to online, the rest, would stay in peace under my hotmail account. haha.. (wanted to say rest in peace actually)

My friendster account is so dead, i know. Coz i just simply dun care..
haha..

When i got the mood i will go and update the pictures and everyting.
Even giving comment is so hard for me to do.
A friend was not happy with me when i never replied his comments on friendster.

I just say la, that i'd rather talk straight to him on msn then to publicise on the web and wait for d nxt day for him to reply. Talk on msn, INSTANT reply. Better wat..

So know what i did?
While on msn with him, i said:

" Oh hi Han! How are you??? So long never here from u seh!!! Miss u lah!!"

He laughed then replied,

"Oh hi dyla! Im ok! U being sacarstic isit? Ya, i miss u also!!"

Then i said:

" Eh wat sacarstic!!! I serious ok, u don't macam-macam ah!"
*macam-macam somekind means u don't anyhow talk nonsense

He replied:

"LOL"

Then i said:

There, give u comment ready wat..So instant some more..Eh, stop it ah..I getting lazy to type and sound so 'enthusiastic' la..

So that's all for today, i will try to upload my 3d scene of my living room since this blogger didn't want to cooperate with me just now.