profile I'm adyla & i'm 19. I don't plan to delete this blog for now. Although I won't be active here anymore. So please visit me in my new blog, thanks. goal To upgrade. To achieve. To graduate. With rainbow colours. archives November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 the tagboard
affiliates My Crazy Sister, Zimah My Beloved Cuzzie, Nina My Beloved Cuzzie, Nisa My Beloved Cuzzie, Tasha My Lovely Sister, Kak Rufi My Close Gf, Shimma My Bestie, Charlotte My Close Gf, Syafiqah My Close Gf, Ain My Loving Friend, Aqidah My Adorable Buddy, Kathy My Sweet Friend, Taufiq My Cute Classmate,Janice My Cute Classmate's BF,Eugene S'pore Poly Make-Up Artiste Club credits you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down. skin by: Jane |
Wednesday, March 26, 2008 @ 10:39 AM
all she needs is your guidance, especially now Imagine this conversation I had with a girl I know very well- She was smiling. Me : "So what was it that you wanted to tell me?" Girl: "I have very good news. Alhamduillah, a good friend I know of is going to be with a good man." Me: "Oh, but how did you know? Did they tell you?" Girl: "No. I found out about it on my own. By gathering little evidences here and there. Maybe it was wrong of me to do that. But everything seemed to fit in, just like a puzzle." Me: "But I thought you also have found a man for yourself?" Girl :"Oh, about that. It seems he had another girl already in mind. I discovered." Me: "But is it really ok with you? You know, you have been doing the Solat Istikharah and you was so sure of yourself that he was the one. I thought it was what you really wanted?" Girl: "You know me well. And I can never fool you because then it may seem as if I'm lying to myself. I admit that it hurts. Its very painful. All this while, I thought I was strong. But it seems that I'm wrong. I hope God forgives me." Me: "Does he know that you know? About the girl, how did you know about her?" Girl: "I told him I know. I told him that its not his fault that he wasn't able to tell me. No matter how I want it to be my way, I know I should put myself in his shoes. He was in a dilemma. That girl, is someone I know. She is a friend. Like i said, i discovered. Everything seemed to be pointing to the same direction." Me: "But how can he do this to you?! You are hurt and you are just going to let this go? You have all the right to remain angry at him. Since you were the last to know." Girl: "No, I didn't wish to tell him straight about how I was feeling, even now. I told him using the nicest words possible. I don't plan to tell my friend about how I feel either. I don't want to make them worried. There are a couple of reasons why. Firstly, I was interfering them who were going to build a family. Secondly, I had already said to myself, if he is not for me, then maybe God has something better. Thirdly, I should not be selfish and put myself in his shoes. Lastly, I don't want to steal, take away something so precious from that girl, my friend. I've seen her change for the better, maybe this is her reward." Me: "But you changed too. Didn't you? You've repented and you still are." Girl: "Yes, but maybe that reward was in a form of something else. I got that tuition job didn't I? That came to me unexpectedly. Alhamdulillah, I still remember what he taught me. To accept whatever's given. That's why I was attracted to him, he was helping me indirectly." Me: "So what are you going to do now? I don't trust you if you say that you're happy, u know." Girl: "Well then you have to. Because what I'm going to do next is to pray for their happiness. Can't you see? This is my test from God. No matter how much it hurts, I have to accept it." Me : "And so you have to be patient? Well yes, I agree. But how are you going to face them now? Him and your friend?" Girl : "It would be uneasy at first, of course. And the way we're going to interact might be different, I don't know. But it feels better now that I know the truth. Alhamdulillah, God revealed it to me before it would get any worse. Still, I just wished he should have told me earlier. Maybe I could have handled it even better." Me : "I just want to let you know that I am already happy for you now. Because you were trying your best to handle this situation. It makes me even proud to know that you're even more focused to please Allah." We ended the conversation with silence because I know she needed time on her own, just thinking to herself. Convincing that what happened is just fate. I watched her gazing out the window, smiling. It was still that same smile earlier, but this time it was accompanied with tears. Oh Allah, no matter how much she smiles infront of others, I know she's crying inside. She is still weak in her iman and all she needs is your guidance, especially now. I know she is trying her best. Please help her, make her stronger. I'm confident she will be able to overcome this. Insya-Allah... |